Guruji what is the best technique for cultivating self love. I find it easier to kinder to others than to myself. When I start to praise myself and feel joyous, I come into contact with others who are not happy and I feel guilty for feeling happy.
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: See, self is love. You think you don’t love yourself and then you try to love yourself and that is the biggest blunder.
Who says you don’t love yourself? It is just a concept when you think you don’t love yourself, and it seems to be very real. Just relax, drop this whole concept of self love and love for others. Love is not just an emotion, so just relax and be at ease yes.
Don’t judge your actions too much. When you go on analyzing and judging your actions too much, this is where you’ll end up. Either you’ll feel guilty or you feel upset and then you feel angry and all this paraphernalia comes along.
That’s why the concept of surrender is so useful. The concept of belonging to the Divine, belonging to a tradition or a master is so useful. The devotee can say, ’if I have some lack then it is for the Guru to make me right, that’s not my business.’
It’s like you’re on a massage table and if there is some twist in your muscle somewhere, it is not your job, it is the job of the masseuse to straighten your knots. You don’t do anything about it. In this way, you’re on the table and trying to do something with yourself, you get so stuck.
So trying to repair the emotions, correct the emotions, this is all a useless phenomenon and it only makes it worse. Do you see what I’m saying?
There is a saying in Sanskrit; suppose you have a wound and you go on scratching the wound, it’s not going to get better. Every time you scratch it you make it worse.
This is exactly what we’re doing, you try to get rid of this thing or that thing or feel better about yourself, love yourself or not love yourself. All this is useless. What you are doing here is the best, do yoga, meditate, become hallow and empty and everything else gets taken care of.
There is a story about Lord Buddha. One disciple came to Buddha and said, ‘my mind is all so much turmoil. I feel so guilty, I feel so bad, I feel so this and that’, and he just said a lot of things. And Buddha just told him to go and get some water from a pond.
So he went there and saw the pond was so muddy. He said, ‘Lord the water is so muddy, I can’t get it.’
So Buddha just smiled and so this man went on and on again. A little while later Buddha told him again to go get some water. He said, ‘but it was all muddy’.
Buddha said, ‘no, go and get the water.’
So when Buddha insisted he had no other choice but to just go. When he went there, by that time the water had already settled and it was clear. He brought the glass of water and gave Buddha. Buddha looked at the disciple and smiled away and the disciple got the answer.
So when your mind is muddled, don’t try to do anything more. Just give it some time, leave it alone and it will settle, it will become clear.
Unfortunately we have so many books written, so many concepts on how to love yourself and make this mind and make the guilt go away and blah, blah, blah.
I don’t think it will help in the long run, even if it has for a short time. I would say do Sudarshan Kriya, pranayama, and meditation. And keep doing it other than that, don’t try to love yourself.