7 September 2013 - QA 2

Gurudev, how do I see through people’s intention. Because of my trusting nature both my personal and professional life are in a mess.

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: See, you are thinking about something else and you’re asking a different question. First, don’t label yourself, that I am trusting by nature. The moment you put that label, somewhere inside, you don’t really trust. Trust is something that just comes up inside of you, naturally.

If you’re over ambitious and when you are greedy, your greed sometimes lands you in a mess. Some investor comes and tells you, ‘You invest and every month I’ll give you 20% of your investment’.
You say, ‘Ah, this is good. Okay let’s go for it’, it’s your greed.
Then you’ll say, ‘Oh I trusted this guy’.
Come on use your intellect! Use your brains! Why do you want to return your brain unused back to nature? Use it well.
Use your intuitive ability. You have something called intuition, from that you can find out whether someone is genuine or not. But if you’re too ambitious, too greedy, then there is a curtain on your eye. Then you can’t see through the intentions of people, because your greed is holding you back. You should have inner contentment, ‘Okay, I’m living my life. I’ll get the best'.

When you’re on the running race, you should only look at your track. Don’t look to the left or right. If you look here and there, you’ll lose! Same way with jealousy and greed. When you look at others, then jealousy comes, greed comes. Let them do what they want, you move ahead. Fix your goal. You run in your track, and for that you need dispassion and wisdom.

I’m on this planet today with 7 billion people, and I belong to them all. I should do something for everybody. If I restrict my life to a small family, small circle of friends, sometime or the other it is going to stifle people.
When you are spending all your time only for few individuals, then there will be cravings and aversions, anger, hatred, jealousy; everything will happen in this circle only. You have to open yourself up. Take a bigger responsibility. Care more for the planet. Then you’ll see there is so much happiness in life. There is such a flow of beauty, happiness, and love. All these things come up in our life.
Don't keep thinking all the time, ‘What about me! What I can do!’

Once a businessman came to Mahatma Gandhi and said, 'What do you want? I will do it'. So Mahatma Gandhi said, ‘No, I want everyone to be a part of this'.
That’s how the movement was built. Everyone contributed and a movement happened. Participation, make everyone feel a part of you.

Same with your business, at work situations, have that little rapport. Leave that little room for imperfection. Don’t think everybody has to be perfect all the time. It’s okay for someone to make a little mistake. Do you see what I’m saying? You should give a little space for making mistakes.
A guitar, or sitar, if the strings are too tight, no music will come. If it’s too loose, then also music won’t come. It should have the right tension.
In the same way, when dealing with your kids, don’t give them too much freedom. That’s no good at all. Tomorrow, they will become very weak individuals. Because parents have never scolded them, they cannot accept one unpleasant comment from anyone. It shakes them.

When parents are there behind them, pulling them now and then, they gain the strength to withstand any assault from the world outside. This is a sort of a vaccine.
Mothers feel very guilty when they scold their children. I tell you, don’t feel guilty. It’s good. You must scold your children. That’s like vaccination! They become strong.

My mother used to scold me most of the time. My mother never thought I do things very well. She would always tell that she would do it better than me.
‘What are you running the ashram like this?' She would say, ‘I will run it better’.
When we buy vegetables, she would say, ‘What, you have bought vegetables? I‘ll buy it much cheaper’.
She’ll buy at home and then send it in a bag here at the ashram. Then the ashram was much smaller.

So, mothers should not feel guilty when you are sometimes harsh with the children. Sometimes, not all the time! You should not scold the children all the time also. This is where we need a very fine balance in life.