Question & Answers with Sri Sri Ravi Shankar
Q:
In the wedding vows does the couple get to accumulate their past karmas or do they exchange it and carry it forward?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Well all is possible.Q:
What is the dharma of marriage?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Ask your spouse! They will give you long lectures on what your dharma is and what you should be doing. (Audience laughs)Our ancient people spoke about saptapadi – the seven steps one takes in life. The knowledge was so scientific even 1,000s of years ago.
A sense of commitment, co-operation, compassion, caring and less ego – these are the benefits that one finds.
Q:
There are times when people do something bad to you that hurts and you cannot seem to forgive them and time goes by and you still seem to keep that feeling. But you want to forgive them and you want to have a good relationship with that person.
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Yes, I think meditation will help. More understanding will help. If someone has done something wrong to you, see it from this angle that the person was just a post man to do what he did. Yes, this is number one. Second angle is, the person was ignorant he didn’t know what he was doing that is why he was doing it, right. Third is to see that person is a victim himself/herself, so they did the mistake the way they did it. In this way you broaden your vision. Suddenly you will see things are all turning aroundQ:
What does the intellect have to do with spirituality?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Spirituality makes your intellect sharp. They are not contradictory, they complement each other. Don’t think spiritual people shut down their intellect. They have a spirit of enquiry. Your questions assume a higher dimension. If your intellect is mature, then you have no choice but to be spiritual.Q:
Can a devotee’s love for the Divine reduce and if it does what needs to be done to change it.
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
In time, it will become alright.Q:
What to do with good friends whose paths have just changed? There has been no growth since the last five years. Slowly, there is nothing to talk about but they are good friends.
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
You need to educate them.Q:
Jai Gurudev. Ramakrishna Paramahamsa was a great sadhak, he did sadhana for his entire life but still at the end he suffered, why?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Sometimes, masters take the karmas of the disciples. Because of the disciple's karma, he has to go through those physical illnesses. It is not necessary everybody has to go through that, some masters choose to do that, that’s itQ:
What is time? What is life? Is there any correlation between the two? Also, do parallel dimensions exist?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Yes. Time is the measurement between two events. Space is the distance between two objects. That’s it. Life is between birth and death. The distance between birth and death is called life.Q:
Guruji, how to improve people’s skills and communication skills?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
This is important. Talk less, observe more. Second, don’t put your ideas too much so that the other person doesn’t digest it or take it, got it? Don’t keep pouring your ideas. Sometimes we do that, we pour too much of our ideas. The other person, you don’t even observe whether they’re grasping it,whether they’re understanding it or not. Third, don’t bore them with your stories of failures or success. Your failure stories will bore others as much as your success stories. Oh I went here, I did this, I did that and the listener will say, ‘Oh my god when will this guy stop’! But in your own mind, there is such a joy that comes to you while talking; you don’t consider the other person’s listening ability at all. We don’t think about their listening ability or their relevance to it. How many of you agree with that? We must watch out for that. And then, instead of telling them what you like, ask them what they want, what do they like. Sometimes we declare all that we like and we dislike. Who asked you to declare? It’s not an income tax department, asking you to declare your assets or your achievements; we go out of the way to declare all of our achievements, our likes and our dislikes. For a listener,you appear to be a very self centered person, drop this. The more pleasant you are, the more centered you are, you’ll be more liked by people. What do you say? Correct. Be centered and you want nothing from the person. We, in our mind, we want some recognition from the other, we want some appreciation from others, we want some favor from others. Favor, recognition, or appreciation these are the things that puts a break on you being very friendly with people. In the heart when you say, ‘ I want nothing from this person, I don’t need to be appreciated by them’, then you will see the big shift that happens within you. It’s not out of arrogance that I want nothing from anybody, that’s not arrogance. Do you see what I’m saying? There’s a difference between arrogance and this. In arrogance still you want some recognition, yes? You don’t look for an approval or recognition from them. You should remember that everybody is caught up in their own little world.Q:
Guruji, how to control my anger, I am a very short-tempered person.
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
First of all you should not put this label in your head that I am a short-tempered person, then you can improve.