Question & Answers with Sri Sri Ravi Shankar
Q:
After coming on the path I find it difficult to fulfill religious rituals. I don’t understand should we continue doing that or leave that. Please guide.
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
There is a couplet by Saint kabir:karka manka chod kar,
Manka manka fer.
It is best to do meditation. But I don’t say one should completely abandon rituals. You perform some rituals on festivals. A little bit of rituals are good. But don’t be too much stuck with the rituals. E.g. if you had resolved to perform a ritual and due to some circumstances you were not able to fulfill that, then there is no need to think that God will be angry with you or you have acquired some sin. I give you guarantee. Maharishi Narada has also said ‘ God is total love’.
Devotion and surrender are greater than any ritual. A little bit ritual is necessary for two reasons. Children are introduced to religion and spirituality through the rituals. Secondly, performing rituals also purify the atmosphere at home. E.g. when all family members come together and do Pooja on Diwali, the atmosphere of our home changes. It is same when you offer Ardas in Gurudwara.
There is no need to be afraid of or feel guilty if you couldn’t keep up with the ritual due to any reason.
Q:
When we are sad, what does god feel?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
God says "Oh my god! How foolish this person is!" There is so much beauty around in the world, and you are thinking so small and getting sad .Look at the reality of the world, enquire for the secret of the universe and the sorrow diminishes.Q:
When intellect and heart say different things, whom should we follow?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
When it comes to work, follow your intellect. And follow your heart when it comes to service.Q:
How do I learn not to be selfish? Can I learn to act without a lot of self-doubt?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
You are already not selfish! You are already out of it, my dear. Just know that you are not selfish. That’s it. Why? Because when you feel you are selfish, something irritates you, you don’t feel comfortable. You feel comfortable when you are at home and in your element. And that is already being generous. You can never cultivate virtues. You simply have them. You have to assume that you have them; then virtues will grow.You know what is doubt? Doubt is always about something that is positive. Isn’t it? If someone tells you, ‘I love you so much’, you say, “Really?” Yet someone says, ‘I hate you’ and you don’t say this. We never doubt when someone says, ‘I dislike you.’ ‘I too dislike you’, immediately it comes. ‘If you dislike me, I hate you more!’ But if someone says, ‘I love you,’ we say, “Really?” We doubt someone’s integrity. We question someone’s honesty. We never question their dishonesty. We doubt our capabilities. We never doubt our incapabilities or weaknesses. We take our weaknesses as the gospel truth. Similarly when someone asks if we are happy, we say we are not sure! We are never sure about unhappiness but this is never said in regard to depression. If someone asks you if you you depressed, will you say, ‘Well, I am not sure I am depressed.’ No? So sure about your depression! We are certain.
We doubt love. We doubt someone’s honesty. We doubt sincerity. Someone may be sincere all their life and be insincere in one incident. We believe in that insincerity more than their sincerity. Isn’t it? It’s the nature of doubt. That’s why we doubt the existence of God also. God is all truth so we doubt. He may be there or not. When we know the nature of doubt and go through the doubt, something starts to wake up within you. That is what I would call trust.
Trust in yourself. Trust in people around you and the law of nature. This will keep you healthy. Otherwise paranoia takes over the mind. If you can’t believe anybody, you can’t believe your spouse, your children, your neighbors, your friends, your brother. You will find everybody is a cheat and out to get you. Everybody wants something from you. This sort of paranoia shrinks our personality. Peace and spirituality ,I say, are the AC. Just as this room is air-conditioned so that you can feel comfortable sitting here, the spirit and mind function similarly and absolute comfort is called spirituality. AC for the spirit!
Q:
In the continuation of the same thing, should we believe in the match- making of the birth chart etc. Should we believe in all that? Does match of mangalik-non mangalik matter?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
It is science but it depends on who does it. Many times in the name of astrology, people cheat others. There is something in chart matching, and you can do all that if you like. But Chanting ‘Om Namah Shivaye’ is best cure for all the short comings.Q:
Why do good people suffer?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Everyone has something good in them and everyone has something foolish in them. And it is because of the foolishness that you suffer.Q:
How to get rid of hurt and anger?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Do Sudarshan Kriya, breathe, sing and meditate. There is no point in brooding. Move on in life. Don’t waste today for what happened yesterday. Wake up and say, “I have the valor and the courage to overcome this.” With someone else’s anger, you must play all your tricks to calm them. Then leave it to God. Educate and ignore. Give them some time. Ask for pardon and most people will not hold the grudge. If they do, it is only out of ignorance.Q:
I have been in love with a girl for the past four years. Recently she broke up with me because of some misunderstanding. I want her back and don’t know what to do.
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Basically you broke your heart. Okay so what do you want? You want her back right? What is the guarantee that if she comes back to you she will be happy? Do you know how to achieve what you want? You have to go deep inside. You have to become calm and centered. When you are feverish, your mind is agitated. You lose all your charm. If you are not charming, what is the guarantee that anybody will stay with you? You have to make yourself pleasant, charming, strong and subtle. Who wants to be with someone who is unhappy, sad or depressed? First get rid of your sadness. Shake off the past. accept the lessons from the past and move on. You have to become strong, serene, and calm.Only when you meditate, do pranayama and Sudarshan Kriya, Yoga then you can have all the four. Do yoga and you will see the difference immediately? When the difference comes your wishes will start being fulfilled.
When you are desperate, you can do only two things. Either commit suicide or repose in yoga. Only spirituality and knowledge can bring charm into your life. A yogi is one who not only can fulfill his desires but can also fulfill others desires.
Q:
I feel very secure in the ashram and fear going back to the outside world. What can I do?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Ok, have fear. Awaken enthusiasm, whatever happens let it happen. At least believe that you are not alone, the Divine is there. Observe where the fear sensation is – heart, throat and other parts of the body. Do pranyama, bhastrika and Sudarshan Kriya. Keep yourself busy, do not give yourself a lot of time to think, then where is the time to fear?* kalyuga – Iron Age, Age of Darkness
Q:
There are so many practices, so many paths. Which one should I choose?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Yoga is everything together. Everything comes along with it.Sudarshan Kriya will help. This suits today’s young minds that are very busy with schedules all around, and can’t work with too many conditions. In a short time, with deep experiences and no side effects.