Do you love someone, because they are great or unique?I tell you - you are hopeless!
Why do you love someone? Is it because of their qualities or is it because of a sense of kinship or intimacy?
You can love someone for their qualities and not feel a sense of kinship. This type of love gives rise to competition and jealousy. Such is not the case when love arises out of kinship.
If you love someone for their qualities, then when the quality changes or you get used to the quality, love also changes. However, if you love someone out of kinship, because they belong to you, then that love remains for life-times.
People say "I love God, because He is great". This is no big thing. If God is found to be ordinary, just one of us, then your love for God collapses! If you love God, because He is yours, then however God is, whether He creates or destroys, you still love Him. The love for kinship is like the love for yourself.
Question: Many people do not have love for themselves?
Answer: No! It is the other way around. They love themselves so much, that they want better qualities and better appearance for themselves. This love of qualities makes them be hard on one self.
If love is based on the quality of a person, then the love is not stable - after sometime the qualities change and the love becomes shaky. Loving someone because of their greatness or uniqueness is Third-rate love. Loving someone because they belong to you, great or otherwise, is unconditional love.
Knowledge, Sadhana, Seva and Satsang help to bring about a sense of belonging in no time. When love springs forth from a sense of belongingness then the actions and qualities do not over shadow the love. Neither the qualities nor actions can be perfect all the time. Love and a feeling of kinship alone can be perfect.