Gurudev, taking out time for Sadhana in everyday life becomes little difficult, whereas I enjoy doing Sadhana. How to make it an easy habit?
Sri Sri: Look, is it difficult to take out time to brush your teeth? You need to take time out to go to the washroom, isn't it? You bathe everyday or not? Do you run to the office after getting up from the bed? Without having breakfast, do you go?
There is time to have tea, breakfast, and gossip. There is time to bathe for an hour, and there is time to stand in front of the mirror and comb your hair. Whoever comes home we have time to talk nonsense with them. And on top of all this, there is time for television. But for doing Sadhana, after doing which one feels so good, how come there is no time?
I know there is a lot of running around to do in life, and it feels like there is no time, but you have to create a discipline for sadhana. Make a commitment, 'If I don't do Sadhana today, I won't have breakfast. I don't have the right to eat anything until I sit for 15 minutes'.
Only 15 minutes, in the morning after waking up, sit in bed. Loosen your whole body, and realize that God is your own, God is within you. Just sit there for a few minutes.
I tell you, once in the year 1980, we went to Badrinath and Kedarnath (pilgrim spots in North India). In those days going to Badrinath and Kedarnath was very difficult. It would take three days from Rishikesh to Badrinath. We had to stop frequently and couldn't travel at night.
There were two Germans with us who we taught pranayama and meditation. When it was evening, they would ask the driver to stop the car near any pavement. And there on the road, by the pavement, they would spread their mats and sit in meditation. I was surprised seeing them. Whatever condition you are in, wherever you are, you should meditate.
During my college days, if I was travelling by train, even I would also do it (my sadhana) there itself, in the train. But I was seeing these two Germans, they were so particular about the time. As soon as it was 6 PM they would stop the car, and sit in meditation.
What I mean to say is, we should make it a habit. Morning or evening, at least one time - when you return home from work, wash your face and sit for 20 minutes. This much time we can definitely take out. Or wake up a little early in the morning. If you were not able to wake up early and got late one day, then do it after returning home in evening.
When you have decided that without doing sadhana you won't have food, then this becomes a part of your routine. Then if you miss one or two days, no problem. But don't make missing it a habit.
There's a very nice bhajan by Sant Kabirdas. "Kaam na choda, krodh na choda, satyavachan kyu chod diya, Naam japan kyu chod diya".
(You didn't leave lust, you didn't leave anger, then why did you leave the words of truth? Why did you stop chanting his name?)
Gurudev, we have learnt that there are 16 sanskaras which define and direct the flow of life. Why is there no sanskara for divorce? Was it not there in the Vedic times?
Sri Sri: You know, sanskaras are there so that you get something from them. A divorce is using the delete button, that is it.
Maybe even sanyaasa could be called as a delete button, wherein you leave everything. It is not that you enter something, whatever has been entered is deleted in divorce.
These are all for the householders, all these sanskaras. And sanyaasa is becoming a monk, where you press one delete button and everything deletes.
I usually tell people, you put your 100% to see that your relationship works. And not just in one or two months, give enough time, enough space for the other person to grow to your level, or for you to grow to their level. Give enough time. After your 100% effort, if it doesn't work, then it is better you go your different ways, and still be friends, rather than making things very sour and having to live in very frustrated condition. It is better to move apart happily.
But you have to give your 100% to make it work. It is not an easy job for many, especially in these days.
In ancient times, people had that great acceptance. They took it for granted that it is a done deal. Once you are married, then that is it, you have to live with them. People had that type of attitude. Like you have chosen your mother and father once, your brother and sister once, like that they would say, 'I've chosen this husband, this is it!'. That type of mindset they used to have, but today it's not the case.
So we have to be with the changing times.
Gurudev, to gain something is it necessary to lose something? What if I want both the things?
Sri Sri: To achieve something big, you should leave something small. If you keep a pebble in your hand and say you want something very big, how is it possible? You first need to drop the pebble.
As soon as you realize the importance of a big thing, you don't need to put an effort, the small thing will drop by itself.
I will give you another example. Before the sun rises, light a candle and keep it. When the sun rises, is there any importance of the candle? Whether it is burning or not, it doesn't make any difference. Do you need to blow the candle to be able to see the sun?
Now don't take this example too far, don't misuse the example. If you have some bad habit, drinking or smoking, and you think these will go by themselves, no. First you leave those habits. If you have a habit which is not in your nature, leave it.
Gurudev, how to manage the feeling of loneliness? How to come out of the feeling that nobody needs me?
Sri Sri: You know, everything is going to finish, this whole chapter is going to end one day. You will be all alone! Yes? That is called Vairagya (dispassion).
When you get into dispassion, you see that everything here is temporary! All the people you are seeing, everything will be gone one day! This whole thing will finish, like the soap bubble one day bursts. Then only you remain. This gives you immense depth of understanding.
Now, if intellectually this doesn’t suffice your loneliness, then with that loneliness or longing, you can write poems. You can do a lot of things in that loneliness.
Many beautiful art pieces have come out of loneliness. Many songs and music have been born out of that loneliness. So instead of letting the loneliness turn into depression, you can turn the loneliness into a longing for something higher. And the longing will keep the love alive in you. So sing, dance and write poems in the deep pain, and turn this loneliness into longing, and longing into something so creative; something eternal.
Gurudev, how can silence be a celebration? Silence sometimes makes all faces so serious. How can it be a celebration?
Sri Sri: That is the paradox. You think celebration is only in noise, and silence is only mourning. When people are celebrating, they make too much noise, and when people are silent, they simply mourn. Somebody died, or someone is in a horrible situation, then they keep silent.
Our celebration is totally different, our silence is completely opposite. This is being joyful and yet keeping silence. That is how the joy gets its depth, and silence in its true sense becomes a dominating force in our life.
So this silence is not that silence of sadness, and the celebration is not just very frivoling and superficial. For celebration to get depth, you need silence. For silence to manifest in its total glory, you need celebration.
Gurudev, wishes don’t let us relax. But without them, how can I move towards my goals?
Sri Sri: That is the role of knowledge. Knowledge helps you to move forward with wishes. With knowledge, patience increases. With patience, you can take any wish, that wish is called sankalpa (commitment/resolution). You can move forward rooted in commitment.
In life, Yoga is essential. If you want to be one with the Self; the One being, then you need to surrender your resolutions. Surrendering all wishes and commitments, you should sit for a few minutes thinking I want nothing. By doing this, the mind becomes stronger, the intellect becomes sharper, the body becomes healthier, and the spirit becomes gentle. This happens due to yoga. We become eligible through yoga.
The tendency of the mind is to keep bringing resolutions from time to time. So stay in Yoga, then from there silently move to the realm of doing.
Gurudev, how to make a choice between options that are equal? Which way to go?
Sri Sri: You have to choose. Choice is yours, blessing is mine!
If your car is broken down, the job of the mechanic is to fix the car and see that it runs. And where you want to run it, where you want to go is your choice! Got it? Mechanic only fixes the car!
Dearest Gurudev, when I meet anybody, judgments come automatically. How to feel unconditional love for everybody?
Sri Sri: No, you can’t feel unconditional love, it’s impossible. The more you try to feel, the more it will be a far-fetched reality. Just relax, be natural. The moment you realized that you are judging, the judgment has already disappeared.
Gurudev, I have so much love for you, it is so much in me that I don’t know how to express it to you. Can you please tell me what to do?
Sri Sri: You have said it already! (Laughs) True love always feel like that. You feel you cannot express yourself, because love cannot be contained in expression. Love is so huge. And for ages, people have tried to express their love and finally they felt they cannot. Even the great sage Narada said, 'Anirvachaniyam prema swarupam'. You cannot express it. The nature of true love is that it is beyond expression.