Are the wedding bells and bills giving you the jitters? Or have you been carrying that tensed look everywhere lately? Wedding, I'm sure you'll agree, is like restarting your life with a new identity and new people. The stress factor (or better still, uncertainty) is then considered a given. What can we do at such times to allay our fears or manage the stress?
The following are a few helpful tips that can give your wedding a head start.
#1 Understand the factors that give you stress
If you've ever solved a complex mathematical equation in your life, you will agree that half your work is done the moment you crack those unknown variables. Pre-wedding stress is as good as a set of complex equations, and half your problems will be solved the moment you realize exactly what is bugging you.
"If you are able to figure out what stresses you before wedding, half your problems are managed", quotes Dr Dinal Vora, MD, Homoeopathic Psychiatrist, and wedding Counselor, Angels Mind and Wellness Clinic, Mumbai. You'll know whether these are serious issues or just a fear of change. Dr Vora also suggests that we fully understand what wedding means to us. Are you doing it because you want to or is it a result of social pressure?
Asking some self-reflective questions like what does wedding mean to me, why do I want to get married, and why have I chosen the person I am getting married to can give you clarity. Since this is one of the major decisions of your life, you definitely do not want to feel uncomfortable about it. Once you realize what stresses you, the next steps are easier to take.
#2 Meditate to reconnect
Meditation is like the one-stop solution to all your problems. At times, there might be a tussle between what you want from your wedding (or even while planning a wedding) and what others want from you. For instance, you wish to have an outdoor wedding, but your in-laws aren't in favor. At times like these, when life swings between the world outside and the one within, one can find relief by connecting with the world within to connect better with the one outside.
When we are able to connect with the world inside, we tap the source of calmness, creativity, and skill. Meditation is what can help us connect to our source. You might be taken by surprise when you are caught between choosing what you want and what others expect from you. But this won't bother you much if you meditate regularly. A meditator is able to look at the problem as an opportunity to improvise and come up with creative solutions. They are also able to skillfully deal with people and situations. When you are confused, the peace and equanimity meditation gives will help you take well-informed decisions.
What is a good time to meditate? When situations become overwhelming, you can disconnect from the world outside and reconnect within. Twenty minutes of meditation a day will keep stress away! Give yourself the gift of meditation NOW.
#3 Leave room for surprises
Have things always turned out in your favor? If yes, you are ultra lucky and super rare! You should always be prepared for something totally unexpected. Who knows, a challenge might turn out to be an opportunity for you to innovate!
Surprises can surprise you any moment—during the wedding or even afterwards. Couples have had the weirdest of experiences, like the wedding cake not being ready on time, their planned outdoor wedding getting blessed by torrential rain, discovering a new family of very different people that they found difficult to adjust to, or paying huge sums of money for unexpected expenses incurred during the wedding.
Approaching problems with a calm mind never fails; you'll see that you can easily resolve problems of all nature. A calm mind thinks clearly and comes out with better solutions. And how to be calm? Meditate to find the answer!
It is the bigger picture that matters, after all. Wedding is a promise to be together in love, to be mad about each other and not because of each other. A calmer mind is definitely worth having.
Read more tips in the sequel to this article
Written by Ravisha Kathuria
Based on meditation inputs by Bharathy Harish, Sahaj Samadhi Meditation teacher