Q: How to deal with people with a very big ego, especially when their behavior is affecting life and others in a bad way?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Let them have a big ego, why are you bothered?
You nurse an even bigger ego than them, there ends the story.
In fact you will find you have a bigger ego, I tell you.
Let others have an ego, so what? Why do you sign on a contract of destroying everybody’s ego, or making everybody’s ego smaller?
If someone has a big ego, nature will teach them. One day or the other, they will become miserable. Leave it to them. Let them enjoy the music.
You want freedom from
your own mind and so
you say, ‘I don’t want
another birth.' But once
you know that, it is your
own mind that is
bothering you, and not
somebody else, then that
Why do you become so miserable looking at the ego of others? I don’t understand that.
You do what is required of you, as much as you can do, and move on. That is it.
In life we should just move on.
If someone is nasty to you, you can get up and shout at them, or scream at them, ‘Why did you do this thing to me yesterday; the day before and ten years ago?’
But I tell you, you are certainly spoiling this moment as well by talking about a mistake that happened yesterday or a month ago. You are spoiling the beauty of this moment.
I would want you to make a decision right now, ‘I don’t care what happened in the past, right now I am not going to spoil this moment’, finished.
The world is like an ocean, these sort of things happen. They happen and they go away as well. Friend become enemies and enemies become friends for no apparent reason.
How many of you have had the experience, that even though you have done only good to certain people, for no reason they have become your enemies? (Many raise their hands)
You wonder, ‘Oh my God, I did only good to this person, why is he blaming me? Why has this person become an enemy?’
Also, there are people to whom you have not done any favor and yet they have helped you a lot. How many of you have this experience? (Many raise their hands)
See, whether someone becomes your friend or your enemy, it all works on the strange laws of karma. That is why, put them all in one basket and relax. This, I have adopted as my policy.
You do so much good to one person and still if that person is angry with you, or they blame you, what do you do?
So, don’t go on chewing on that and spoil the present moment with the past.
Isn’t that a good idea? This moment let us celebrate.
In the past I used to listen to people, all their stories and their blaming one another. Suddenly I realized, ‘No, I’m not going to listen to anybody’s complaint any more. I don’t want to spoil this moment’s energy.’
Deal with your things, that is your karma. This is what the ancient people used to say.
They would never sit like counselors and listen to all your stories. They’d say, ‘Come on, wake up this moment; now (snapping his fingers)', and that would bring a huge change in the mind, in the energy, and in the time.
But you don’t start doing that right away, then you will be called the most insensitive and rude person. Got it?
Do it slowly. You have to listen to people, which I have also done for so many years. But a point should come, especially with people, when you have to say, ‘Okay, now no more.'
Sometimes it happens, old people at home go on and on. They enjoy complaining. How many of you have experienced this? (Many raise their hands)
See! They enjoy complaining, and when someone listens, they complain even more. At those moments you should just put on music and say, ‘Hey come on, let’s dance. Stop complaining.’