30-June-2012-QA12

If love is our true nature then why does it feel so good to hurt someone when you have been hurt yourself? How do you stop yourself from retaliating against others?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Again, you should read Intimate Note to the Sincere Seeker. I have spoken in so many words on these issues.
Do you want the chain to continue? You hurt them, they hurt you and they retaliate. Do you like to be retaliated? I am asking you a question.
Unintentionally a mistake has happened through you. Suppose someone starts retaliating because you did something wrong. Whatever you said or did hurt them deeply, and you said sorry a hundred times. Still they want to retaliate and take revenge, what would be the state of your mind? How do you like it? Why don’t you get into the other person’s shoes and see for a minute? You wouldn’t want that. You would say, ‘No! I asked forgiveness. I asked to be pardoned.’
Just imagine if someone refuses to pardon you for small things which you did unintentionally or out of ignorance, would you like it? When you like to be forgiven, how come you don’t want to forgive?
And this, enjoying hurting others, is not the right thing. It is simply you wanting attention that is all. This you need to correct. This is our mind’s sickness. It is the sickness of our own mind being happy making someone miserable. What do you call it? Sadistic! Enjoying someone’s suffering makes you happy.
‘Look, you made me suffer and I make you suffer’, that type of joy is not for you, no! It appears to be a joy momentarily but it comes back to you a million times more, so don’t go for it. There are better ways of joy. When you forgive, see what big joy, what big comfort it brings to you.
When someone comes and apologizes, it is our magnanimity to say, ‘Oh, okay never mind.’ I tell you our magnanimity is in forgiving, and that is what we do.
But if they continue to do wrong, if they don’t respect your forgiveness, then take a stick. Then go, challenge them; go to court or whatever. But you should give ample chances for one to correct them self. Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness; it should not be taken for granted. At the same time, not forgiving, doesn’t show or speak very good of you.
What do you think? Isn’t it?