Question & Answers with Sri Sri Ravi Shankar
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
It is a golden question. One who knows the answer will not tell you. Anybody who attempts to answer you, do not listen to him. This question can kindle the quest within you.Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Don’t justify your anger as valor. If you’re arrogant, and behave rudely, your behavior cannot be justified.Valor is an inner phenomenon. It gives immense patience, perseverance and inner strength.
It does not mean screaming, and shouting. Screaming, and shouting means you are weak.
If you’re really strong, you will just smile.
You move with confidence. You will be unfazed. That is valor.
This is one side of the story. The other side is that whatever you do, someone will criticize you. You will be blamed if you act, and even if you don’t act. If you speak, or don’t speak.
You can’t keep pleasing everyone.
If your focus is on finding shortcomings, either in yourself or in others, you cannot raise higher.
Recognize that if someone gives a comment, reflect on it. If there is some truth, accept it.
If not, then thank them and move on.
Don’t ask them why. Just say: ‘I appreciate your perception’ and move on.
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Sattva means that which brings harmony, that which makes you happy, that which makes you enthusiastic, that which brings knowledge in you. This is all sattva.Rajas makes you go too much up and too much down. Either you get too excited and you feel I can’t even handle this excitement or it is so down. This is rajas.
Tamas is when you feel so lazy and so negative that you don’t want anything. You dislike everybody. That is tamogun. So When you feel tamogun get up and start working, then rajogun
will come. Then when you are too much into action, I would say just sit back and
relax then you will get into satva. So, before meditation do some exercise. When
you do all this the restlessness or rajas in you calms down. Then you are able
to meditate. Didn’t it happen to you today? (Audience:Yes). How many enjoyed the
meditation. Raise your hands (Lots of people raised their hands). You meditated
nearly 20 minutes.
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Good! Explain to them, convince them. But if you’re in the middle of education, complete it before you come here. Don’t leave it halfway.Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
You have to make an effort and change it. Serve, serve and serve. In serving you are giving, when you are in the trip of only getting, then you cannot get over your patterns. But if you say: “I don’t want to be like that, I only want to give, I want to serve,” when you make that big shift, everything changes.Why are you going to Satsang, for example? Are you there to get joy for yourself or are you going there so you can help, contribute. You go to Satsang and give some juice and cookies to everybody or do you just go and enjoy your meditation and kriya and walk out? These delicate, small things make the difference.
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Because those are dreams.Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
When someone asked Mullah Naseeruddin why he fought with his wife so much, he replied, “Because I love her so much. I fight with someone and love someone else? That is not done! I do everything with one person.” Fights are also a part of life.When you focus on each other too much, then fights happen. If you both have a common goal, to serve, to uplift the society, then fights don’t happen and love blossoms and there is plenty of work for every couple.
In the Indian marriage tradition, there is a ceremony called the saptapadi, the seven steps, which the couple has to take together. One of these steps (signifying vows) is that the couple work together for the upliftment of society.
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Very easily. It depends on how you go ahead in every situation, especially bad situations. Do you deal with the situation with courage, and peace? If so, then, that is sign of your spiritual development. The more you smile, and the more you are happy, the more you are spiritually developed.Sometimes, in spite of doing a lot of sadhana, you get angry, and then you tend to think that you have not developed spiritually.
Don’t blame yourself. Even though you get angry, it is not the same as before. Earlier your anger would remain for long, now it subsides. To other people, you look the same but if you look within, the anger comes and goes away quickly. Earlier it used to take five years, now it takes five minutes to go away. This is our experience. That is why you should not blame yourself when you get any negative sentiments. Witness the feeling and let it go. With practice, the consciousness becomes stronger.
A plant has to be watered but when it grows into a tree, it is no longer necessary. Similarly, if the inner consciousness becomes stronger, all these vikaar (distortions) get erased.
Vishranti vikar mita (Deep rest removes negativity). That is why people are jailed. They are tired of doing bad deeds, so we let them take rest. When they rest, the negative thoughts get destroyed. There is no rest deeper than meditation.
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Dispassion starts happening naturally. When you grow up, your mind doesn’t get stuck to small things like you were so much attached to lollypop when you were small, yet when you reached school or college that attachment naturally dropped. Similarly, with toys or even friends. When you grow up, you still have friends but you rise above that entanglement. Similar is the case with mother and child. Naturally entanglement starts leaving you. If dispassion doesn’t happen then you experience sorrow. We get into the cycle of sorrow thinking – ‘Oh, I did so much. I did so much for my kids and see what they are doing now.’ What responsibility I was supposed to do, I have fulfilled. There is no restriction on others’, your children’s feelings. We can’t ask anybody to express feelings forcefully. Feelings naturally arise in anybody’s heart whatever those feelings are. Feelings don’t ask for permission before arising. But if you live in knowledge then negative feelings are almost negligible. Also positive feelings exist not as craving but love.People say knowledgeable is one who kills one’s feelings. No, it’s not like that. Sadbhav, saintly feelings continue to exist. Lord Krishna also said in the Bhagwad Geeta ‘One who is not tied to me - the Consciousness, Higher Self - neither has intellect nor feelings. Without feelings and intellect, there is no question of peace or happiness.
Transforming craving and aversion into love is dispassion.
Lord Shankaracharya also said there is no happiness in world which can’t be received through dispassion. Dispassion doesn’t mean going to forests. It has
been so wrongly interpreted. Bliss and happiness are there in dispassion.
Like the lotus resides in water but still remains free from getting wet, in the same way while living in society one is not to let society enter one’s mind. Birds fly above you that’s ok, but don’t let them build a nest in your head.
Sanyas (an ascetic) is getting established in the Self. One who is unshaken by anything is a sanyasi. Sanyas is 100 percent dispassion and 100 percent bliss and has no demand. It’s very good if sanyas happens after the fourth ashram, the vanaprasth ashram. So much satisfaction in the mind that ‘Nobody is my own’ and ‘Nobody is the other’, or ‘Everybody is my very own’, or even ‘this body is not mine’ is the state of sanyas. Total happiness in mind is sanyas. Leaving clothes and going to forests is not sanyas.
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
If you work, if you take responsibility, power comes along with it. If you don’t work and don’t take responsibility you are powerless. Responsibility is taken and you don’t wait for someone to give you that power and we acknowledge that. It’s the position not the person who has that power.