Much too often, we are confronted with a situation that we deem as too painful.
My heart hurts!
I broke up with someone...
This relationship is not working
It could be any relationship in any situation – with your spouse, your parents, a co-worker, your fast-growing child, or even your best friend. The degree and the kind of pain might differ, but the heart does hurt. And, in a way, you’re breaking up from an all-too-familiar relationship.
Though some things need their time and space, it might save a lot of heartache to just remember a few things.
1. Wake up and…: Smell the coffee beans later—first see. See the truth of love. Know that you love everybody and everybody loves you. Whatever their behavior is. Love is like space – it can never go away. That’s true love – nobody can take the love that you have inside of you.
2. Time moves swiftly on: What breaks your heart? Someone’s behavior, right? And that, like everything else in the world, changes. Everything is changing, has changed before, and is going to change in the future.
Hanging onto the pleasant feeling that a relationship gave you is not going to make the relationship/partnership last. It all comes and goes. The old adage remains timelessly true – Time heals all wounds.
3. Your heart’s alright: It’s beating and pumping life into you. And as long as that’s happening, you’re alive! And as long as you’re alive, nothing can stop you from waking up and doing something good! Anything at all! Smile at someone, make someone laugh, surprise that old neighbor with a flower, volunteer your time. Reach out to someone’s life and give. And keep giving.
4. Lion King: Roar! Be like a lion and move on. Be bold, courageous, and compassionate. It’s easy to get caught up in the web of "so-and-so said this about me" and "I can’t move on after this break-up". Instead of sinking in the quicksand of self pity, roar and jump out. And remember the good in life.
5. God’s Ferris wheel: Sometimes its tough to understand why someone behaved in a particular way? Why, despite putting in everything, the relationship had to break up? Why some relationships don’t seem to be heading where you want it to go? It’s alright. Wallowing in self-pity, worrying, or smothering yourself in guilt will not get you anywhere. You’re doing / have done your utmost. Sometimes you just have to understand the wheel of Karma (law of action and reaction) that transcends time and space. It’s unfathomable and deep.
It’s best to make peace with it, painful as it may be. Whatever's happened has happened. As painful as it may sound, it’s over. Perhaps it was needed to make you a stronger individual. Maybe the cosmos has a better plan for you. Move on with compassion in your heart and peace in your mind. Remember that the wheel of fate keeps turning.
Spiritual practices, knowledge of the self, service, and satsang (coming together in celebration) help create a sense of belonging. When love springs from a sense of belongingness, then the action or qualities do not overshadow the love. Neither qualities nor actions can be perfect all the time. Only love and a feeling of kinship can be perfect.
~ Sri Sri Ravi Shankar
6. Breath of life: Help yourself get more energy. Immerse yourself in the breath of life. Yoga asanas, stretches, and breathing exercises will help to oxygenate your body, stretch away the pain, and gently help your body and mind to loosen up the icy hurt inside of you. Even the cycles of nature respect the thawing of winter and the blossoming of spring. Won’t you allow yourself to do the same?
7. Have a heart of gold: We’re all here to give. However, if you’re recovering from a break up, you'd want to add a bit of rubber. Your heart’s not made of glass that someone or something can break it that easily.
Have a heart of rubber—elastic, flexible, and ready to bounce back—with a spring in its step.
8. Have I told you? You look wonderful, and you are wonderful, and you’re here for a wonderful purpose. Not just to feed the kids or make a million bucks, but to do something great and significant for the world. You need to remind yourself of this. The spiritual seeking and spiritual knowledge transforms your heart and your actions.
9. Just do IT: Spend time in Inner Transformation. And it's as easy as closing your eyes.
Meditating for a few minutes everyday on a mantra or to a guided meditation will help remove the mental anguish, uncertainty, and the pain. It’ll help to clear the mind and develop a sense of peace. As Sri Sri says, "If your relationship with your self is profound and steady, you naturally develop the skills to handle any kind of relationship."
10. You are love: You are love – you are made up of a substance called love. And nobody can take that away from you.
Written by Resha Patel
Mending a broken heart