I have seen that swamis, sadhus and people in ancient times would not like to listen to any conflict anywhere. If someone came and complained to them they would just plug their ears and say, “You deal with it.”
See, if you are part of the solution, your energy is high. But if you are talking about problems and problems, your energy comes down.
In the world there is always a play of positive and negative; some problems come, some challenges come and solutions also come behind it. The ancient people would simply focus on keeping their energy high. If your energy is high then when people come to you their problems will get solved.
Usually what happens when you talk to people? You get stooped into their level of problems. They talk to you about their problems and what happens? You get carried away into the problems. So just try this: one day let everybody come and complain 100 things to you, you simply keep your energy high, your sight inward, your mind inward as though nothing has happened. You will suddenly feel there is a freedom within you.
You try this: at home your mother-in-law will complain, your husband will complain, anybody can complain about anything, let the world go topsy-turvy, but hold onto the idea - I am going to keep my energy high. You just take one such step and see, because problems and challenges come so that you can turn your mind inward.
Instead of turning our minds inward when problems come, what do we do? We chase the problem and when we chase the problem we get totally drawn in that direction, dragged in that direction and then our energy goes down and we collapse. Isn’t this what happens?
Many times, in the name of compassion and sympathy you get drowned. Your compassion does not really help at all in solving the problem. It may be very shocking because in compassion the problem multiplies, and it doesn’t get solved.
Any problem comes so that a person can turn inward and look inside, get into a state of dispassion and calmness. Instead you give reasons and try to pacify the person. Pacifying a person in a problem is the worst thing. You should not pacify them. Let everybody bear their own cross. Bear your karma. If you are miserable it is your karma, if you are happy it is your karma. So you change your karma. This attitude makes a person more independent.
You show compassion and then they want more attention. You feel more compassion and give more attention and then neither compassion is there nor can you give any more attention. Only tension remains. It breeds tension in you, ‘That poor person is so upset and I have to make them happy’. Making someone happy is a big burden. Don’t try to do that at all. This is a new policy; don’t try to make anybody happy, you can’t.
There is a Sanskrit proverb that says ‘Kashtasya sukasya nakopi data’. Nobody gives happiness or misery. It is created by one’s own self, one’s own mind. When someone says ‘problem’, just turn and run in the other direction. Say deal with it, you deal with your own problem. Then you see independence comes, interdependence comes in people and that is how you make yourself self- sufficient.
I am talking about this to sadhaks, to all of you who are already on the path. But don’t use this when someone in the street is crying and they want a lift and you say, ‘Guruji said let them deal with it, I am out.’ If you have space in your car you should go attend to them. That compassion is needed there, but not in relationships. When you are relating with people, random acts of compassion are essential. To someone whom you do not know, be compassionate.
Be passionate about dispassion.
Just see your own mind keeps getting bogged down by that person’s feeling, that person’s tension and this lady’s misery and this person’s unhappiness - what can you do and where have you gone? What has happened to you? You are completely shattered. That is why they say cut all these cobwebs around you, all these strings around you, only one string to the Divine, only one string.
Even there, don’t say, ‘Guruji didn’t look at me, maybe God is angry with me’, this and that, no! Everything is prasad, if I am kicked out, it is a Prasad. If I am scolded, it is Prasad. Everything is prasad, This attitude is the best attitude. So: no attention, no tension. Good!