07 December 2013 - QA 2

Gurudev, how to deal with failure? No learning, or advice is helpful in that state of mind. What do I do?

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Remember that you’re going to die one day. You are going to leave everything behind. All your degrees, awards, necklaces and diamonds, everything will remain here, of which you’ve been so possessive. So when you know that one day you have to leave everything behind and go, you’ll say, ‘Failure, okay failed, what to do? I offer that to the Divine as well’.

Remember that every failure is a step towards success. It is a learning process. You should see it this way perhaps. There are only two situations: either you win or you make others win. You should be proud of making others win.
When elders play with children at home, they don’t always win, sometimes they make the children win and feel happy in their happiness. So making others win is a sign of a big mind. Finding joy in the happiness of others is a sign of a big mind.

There is a beautiful story in the Ramayan. In the chapter called Bharat Milaap, when Bharat meets Ram, both of them forget their Sankalpas (vows).
Ram says to Bharat, ‘I’ll do whatever you want’.
Upon hearing this, Bharat is overcome with happiness and emotion. Ram had left the kingdom to keep his father’s vow and he had himself vowed that he would not return till 14 years had passed. If he were to return on Bharat’s request, he would be accused of breaking his vow. And Ram took his vows very seriously. He believed in ‘Praan jaaye par vachan na jaye’ (It’s okay if I lose my life, but may I never break my vow).
So, Bharat on realizing that Ram, who valued his vow more than even his own life, was ready to break his vow for him and said, ‘No brother, you please carry on as you wish’.
So it is said that their minds got swapped. Ram’s mind went to Bharat and vice versa. This is what we call a sign of love.

It’s a very unique story where there is no desire for oneself. All these are ideals. These ideals help in preventing us from deviating from our principles.