27 August 2013 - QA 2

Gurudev, you say that ‘Sukhasya dukhasya nakopi daata’ (No one gives us pain or pleasure except our own mind). So is there no effect of our actions on others at all then?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: What we do affects others only to the extent that they take it (i.e. choose to accept or be affected by it). If they do not take it, then no matter what you do, it won’t affect them at all, be it good or bad. There lived a saint named Diogenes, who was enslaved by Alexander. Alexander had him tied up in chains and handcuffed. When he was being sold at the slave market, he looked so strong and confident that the person trying to sell him looked like a slave. Diogenes wasn’t looking like a slave at all. So whatever we do affects people only as much as they take it inside them.

If you swear at someone and he doesn’t listen to you at all; and instead he thinks you’re talking in another language or he thinks you’re praising him, then what effect would your words have on him? Say you are talking about something very wise, maybe you are giving knowledgeable advice but the other person is not listening to you at all and just sits like a stone, then what influence will your talk have on him? Unless the person decides to absorb what you are saying and take it inside him, he will neither be positively nor negatively affected by it.

This does not mean you should try to give people grief and misery. This saying - ‘Sukhasya dukhasya nakopi daata’ does not mean that you keep giving as much grief as you can to others. No! You must be sensitive. What you do not like for yourself, why should you do unto others? This is Dharma. So if someone swears at us, we feel sad about it. Then we too should not swear at others. And if we do not like people stealing things from us, we should also not steal from others. So whatever we don’t like being done to us, we should not do to others. This simple notion is the essence of Dharma – the knowledge of one’s duty.