Q: Dear Gurudev, love, respect and attachment, how are these three connected. How we can we keep these in balance in relationships?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: I think you have too much free time. You should get busy.
Do not sit and worry. Love, respect, all these feelings and emotions remain in you. When your heart and mind are clear, then the right emotions will come at the right time.
Love, respect – all these happen. You cannot make it happen. You cannot make respect come into you. If you make an effort to feel love or respect, it will be a failure. So, all that you can do is free yourself from stress and have wisdom in the mind.
Wisdom is seeing the world from a bigger perspective.
I am not this – that is what
Asangoham means. For example,
I am wearing the cloth, but I am
not the cloth. The body is mine
but I am not the body. I am not
the thoughts, I am not the mind.
Like this you go on to negate one
by one all the layers of identity.
And finally when you ask, ‘Who
am I?’ You will find nothing!
See what is temporary and what is permanent. All the opinions of people are temporary. They come and they go. This you must remember. Do not crave for respect. Some people give respect, some do not, it is fine. It is their choice. But if your life depends on respect from others then you are a weak person. You will feel weakened more and more, and when you are weak, you will be miserable.
You should know that you do not need anybody to respect you. ‘My respect is with me, I do not need anyone to respect me’, that is it.
So when you go back from here, that does not mean you behave disrespectfully. You give respect, but do not expect respect in return.
Sometimes people will not have even a little respect. That is how they are, never mind. If others do not give you respect, never mind. It shows their culture, their evolution.
If you are highly evolved, you will always respect everybody. Whether they are sane or insane, you will respect them. Then you will respect even the insane people because it is in your nature. You see them as a part of this Creation. They belong to the Creation, to Divinity. So when you respect everybody that shows how much wiser you are.
Expecting respect shows our weakness and giving respect to people irrespective of who they are or what their standards are shows our wisdom.
Love is a basic substratum of this Creation. It can never disappear. It is always there. Again, give love and it will come back to you a million times more.