Sri Sri: One fine morning, maybe tomorrow morning, you wake up and see that there are 7 billion people on this planet. Of these 7 billion, nearly half of them are men, which is 3.5 billion. Of the 3.5 billion, maybe 1 billion are old people. So leave them out.
Now, you have 2.5 billion people more on this planet to choose from, and they are one better than the other. So drop that one who is really a rotten apple. There are plenty of good apples. Look at them all, and pick one!
I am gay. Is it wrong?
Sri Sri: No! If the tendency is in you, just accept it. Why do you want to blame yourself? It is a biological tendency. Why do you have to be ashamed of it? Just accept it!
You don’t need to label yourself, ‘I am a gay’. These tendencies come and go. Maybe after four years or five years, it could change. There are many straight men who after marriage, at the age of 40 years, have discovered that they have this tendency. Such tendencies come up. We should not label and blame our self.
If you have such a tendency, just recognize it, and don’t feel bad about it. You know when you start blaming yourself, when you have guilt or blame, it brings a twist to your personality which is not so palpable.
I am scared of commitment. How do I get over that?
Sri Sri: Interact with someone who is not committed to you.
For example, someone tells you, ‘I will take you to a movie tomorrow’, and never shows up, or promises that he will bring some notes or books to you, but doesn't show up the next day. Just put yourself in the receiver’s chair, and then you will see how important it is to be committed.
How do we curb our desires to watch porn, which is so freely available these days?
Sri Sri: Pranayama! When you do yoga, pranayama, meditation, these tendencies change, your nature changes. You know that you are not just a body, you are spirit; scintillating spirit. With the help of these practices, you find yourself elevated to another level.
Sex, drugs, alcohol, how does one escape them? They are all over the place.
Sri Sri: Just this thought that we want to escape and pull people out of it, will do it.
Today, can you all take a vow that you will not even turn and look in that direction? If someone is even tempted, send them to me, or to any of our YES!+ teachers. They will give them better intoxication, an intoxication that will not come down at all. They can get a better high! What do you call it? A better kick? We can get you a better kick!
Is having two relationships wrong? Is it necessary to get physical in a relationship?
Sri Sri: Listen, would you like your spouse, or boyfriend, or girlfriend to have two relationships? First you answer that!
What you are doing, would you like someone else to do the same thing to you? Can you accept it? Your mind will say no! Right? It is better to be loyal in one relationship. It is no good to hurt two people at the same time.
How do I know if I am really in love?
Sri Sri: : The doubt itself says you are in love.
Do I go for a smart girl or a good looking girl?
Sri Sri: The choice is entirely yours! Just don't tell her why you chose her later on, okay? You will be in trouble. You will not be smart then!
How to choose a career even though my parents don’t allow?
Sri Sri: You have already chosen!
You chose a career and your parents don’t like it! And now you are asking me, 'How to choose it?'
You should be asking me, ‘How to drop a career which I have chosen, which my parents don’t like!’
What is your confusion? Sometimes, you are confused between your hobby and your profession. You like your hobby, such as music or painting. Don’t make your hobby your career. Your parents must be wondering why you are choosing a hobby, which is very good, and making it your career. You should sit and think about it. Okay? Think with an open mind. Don’t say, ‘I have to have it!’
When you choose a career, you should keep a vision of the next five years or ten years. You need to think, ‘How will this particular career that I am taking provide me with a livelihood in the next five years? Is it good for me?’
You need to think objectively while choosing a career.
A hobby is your hearts calling. That you don’t leave. You hold on to it as well.
Career through head, hobby through your heart!
How can we reduce the gap with our parents and make them understand our lifestyle?
Sri Sri: This very intention in you to do so will make it happen. You want to bridge the gap? Is this your intention? You will be able to do it!
There is always some give and take in that. There may not be just one criterion, there could be a million criteria. You will have to come up with them from time to time.
How do I deal with tensions at home? I really feel like running away.
Sri Sri: Take a deep breath, relax, and know that this will pass.
How do I learn to say ‘No’ nicely?
Sri Sri: Just say it, that’s it. Don’t think if it is nice. Anyone who is expecting a ‘Yes’ will not take a ‘No’ nicely, no matter how it is said. So it is better to be blunt, and just say ‘No’.
Why does the mind wander all the time?
Sri Sri: It doesn't wander all the time. When you like something, your mind is just fixed there.
Suppose you are watching a movie or television series, does it wander all over the place? No! For two and a half hours you are focused on the screen. You are sitting watching the movie and you are so immersed in it, tears come out of your eyes, and you roll and laugh.
I don't think your mind is wandering all the time. The mind sticks to what it likes. Where there is some attraction, where there is beauty, where there is love, where there is truth, the mind automatically floats there.
When you learn about the mind through yoga and meditation, you will know how you can bring your mind to the centeredness, the focus that you very much want
What did your parents think when you took up spirituality at such a young age?
Sri Sri: Oh! You want to hear about it? When I first came home, I had a beard. You should ask me why I grew a beard? I was in Delhi, at Beach Arbhatta, opposite to Kamal Theatre, teaching meditation there.
People would come, because they had heard that Gurudev was going to teach meditation.
They would see me; no beard, a young boy of 19 years old or 20 years old and they would ask me, ‘Where is Gurudev?’
I would say, ‘I am Gurudev!’
When they would see me and they would go away. So I lost half my students; many were professors, elders, some were from Delhi University.
I thought I looked too young, too much boyish and I should grow a little beard. So I grew a beard. And then they thought that I am in a Guru's uniform.
When I went back home with a beard, my mother was so upset! She told my sister, ‘Ask him to take off that beard!’
My sister said, ‘Don't tell him anything. He will go away; he has come for a few days.’
My mother was not very happy with me growing a beard. Somehow I cajoled her, counseled her. I told her that this is a uniform! Without this uniform, people think I am a small boy. They are not learning anything from me, not taking my words seriously. That is the story.
Of course, she also loved everything else I did; later, she got used to the beard.
While studying, how can I eliminate thoughts from my mind so I can concentrate better?
Sri Sri: Breathing! Pranayama will definitely help you. Okay! And then if they still come, don’t try to chase them, just embrace them. Negative thoughts are afraid of a hug from you. If you embrace them, they will all run away.