29 Apr 2012 - QA 7

My sister is mentally ill. She is really good at pulling our energy down and making us upset. I stay away from her, as much as I can. But she is very lonely. How to find the balance between responsibility for others and for yourself?

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:

When you know someone is a patient, don’t listen to them. Be with them with ear-plugs.

You get upset because you take their words and behavior inside your head. You should make your head foolproof so that you don’t absorb things from others, and help them whenever possible.

There is an ancient saying that says, ‘There is no giver of pleasure or pain.’

If you are suffering pain, it is your own doing; it is not that somebody has given it to you. And if you are enjoying, if you are joyful, that is also your own merits that is bringing you joy.

When you know this, you don’t blame someone else for your happiness or unhappiness. Because you get happiness from somebody, you tend to blame them for not giving it as often as you want. Are you getting what I am saying?

Why love turns into hatred? It is because you love somebody and they gave you so much pleasure, and then you are angry at them because you have become sort of a slave to that sensation. So when they don’t give you that pleasure you blame them, you are angry at them, you hate them, and the whole relationship goes away. Isn’t it? So, know that your joy and your happiness come to you on your own merit. Others are there only as postmen to deliver it to you. Thank them! Then you will always have a good relation with everybody around.