Question & Answers with Sri Sri Ravi Shankar
Q:
Dear guruji, I am profoundly grateful for the beautiful knowledge that you bring to us. I am very curious to know from where these insights come from. When I meditate, I sometimes become calmer and more effective afterwards, but the secrets of the universe do not reveal themselves. Instead I seem to be either stuck in the same dramas or in some kind of self-hypnosis. The path is good for me. I am certain. But I feel so impatient. I found your words about the divine and nature to be the nectar for which I am hungry. Can you please elaborate on that theme. I used to feel a stronger connection with nature. I feel like a bit of a robot these days. Did I fall from grace or something?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
No, no. I think you have too much time in hand. You sit and think too much about yourself. Get busy. You know, the more good work you do, you create positive atmosphere and vibes around you. And when you create positive vibes, that helps you go deep inside. It is necessary to care for others and share with others. Do it in whatever manner you can. Involve in some projects. Do some meditation. Don’t sit and worry, ‘Oh, what experience I had today, what I will have tomorrow?’ No. They will come and they will go! You are more than all those experiences put together. For a seeker, what you do for any experience that comes, you simply have to say Hi and Bye. One hand you say Hi, and the other hand you say Bye. Don’t forget to say bye after saying Hi. And don’t forget to say Hi, and only saying bye. Then you are in trouble. If you are only trying to say bye-bye, then you are trying to resist them. If you say only Hi, then you are trying to hold on to them. That is why you are given two hands, you know! Hi and Bye. (Gestures hi and bye with hands.)All these experiences come and go, no big deal.Q:
My best comes out when I am pushed against a wall. It becomes a matter of do or die. That’s the time when I have laser sharp focus, composure, drive and motivation to fulfill all my desires and intentions. But when I’m happy, comfortable and joyful, I can’t seem to have that same composure and drive to motivate myself. How do I change that pattern?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Then ask someone to push you against the wall (laughs). There are no walls here. If you’re not married, get married. Tell your spouse to do it for you.Listen, if you think that your best will come out only if you are in danger and when pushed against a wall, then you have put such an intention in your mind, and that is what is going to happen all the way. You know, you can do it even when you are happy, when you are joyful, when you are free. So, when you have recognized that this is your pattern, it is your responsibility. Nothing else can help you, only you can help yourself. You can say, ‘Now, today I am happy, I am going to do it!’Q:
Dearest Guruji, what is ambition and what is greed? What is the line differentiating both? With love and pranams…
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Greed is when nothing matters to you - no people matter to you. Only money matters, only you matter, that is greed. Greed is beyond your capability, beyond what you deserve. Even at the cost of suffering for others or yourself, you want to have it.You aspire and you want it by hook or crook, that is greed. Ambition is you have set a goal, you want to achieve it. That is ok.Q:
Jai gurudev. Would you please explain about 2011? We are worried.
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
If you remember, many people were so afraid and paranoid in 1999. In 1999, it was said that computers were going to crash. They were asking, ‘What do we do? We are not going to get food’. People started storing milk and food-grains in their basements! I think I was in Halifax at that time and people there asked me the same question, and they were also storing food! They said we have stored milk powder for three months, grains and stuff. I said, ”nothing is going to happen. There is going to be business as usual”. And I am telling you now, we will see 2010, 2013.. It will be business as usual. Only thing is people will be more and more spiritual. Have you noticed how young children, the Yes+ kids were asking questions? I think the older generation would be surprised to see how spiritual the younger generation is becoming. You know what questions you got in 40’s or 50’s, What is the meaning of life?, these kids are getting at the age of 15 now . I am asking this question to those of you who are above 50. Did you ever get this question at that age? The kids today are so much spiritual! As the time comes, you will see that more and more kids become more aware. They are not so much about showoff or buying things like you used to feel. The younger generation is completely off the clothes or jewellery or showoff. Of course, they have little bit more craze about gadgets and the cars. But even that is not as much as you would expect the things to be. Right? You find such difference in people! See in the beginning days of video games every body was so much on those video games. All those violent ones. But as times passed, it’s fading out. I feel that it is fading away. Isn’t it? It’ll happen. More people will be more inclined towards spirituality.Q:
What is your inspiration?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
There are two ways of going about work. One is wanting to do something for which you can always find an inspiration. Another is since you already have something, so you want to do it as an expression of joy. It makes all the difference whether work is done as an expression of joy versus expecting some joy. So, I’m not expecting joy in doing something. Rather, I am doing everything as an expression of joy. Everything is happening spontaneously. People find it very hard to understand this. These people ask me, “What is your motivation?, What is it that you want by doing all of this?”. I say, "nothing. I want nothing". It’s a little hard to understand at that time. For instance, suppose you have seen a nice movie. So many people who saw Avatar told me, “Guruji, you must go.” By canvassing for a movie you enjoyed, you are not getting anything. You are not getting paid for canvassing for that movie. You go around telling everybody, “oh, that movie is so good, you should watch it.” What do you get by that? You just tell people because you enjoyed watching it, and you want to share that happiness with everybody. Infinite joy is what we’ve all been born with. I give joy by sharing myself with everybody. So, we need to bring this shift from the joy of receiving to the joy of giving.Q:
Who is your inspiration?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
There are two books you can read to find an answer to this. One is 'Guru of Joy' and the other is 'Walking the Path'. I would say my inspiration is every child. I want to see everyone to be like a child. Of course, I must say my mother was a great force. She was always concerned that I had to do better. Anything I did, she would say that you had to do better. So, she was pushing me all the while.Q:
Is homosexuality evil?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
I don’t think so. Eastern philosophy does not even say that it is evil because you are made up of both male and female DNA. In your DNA, you are half your mother and half your father. Both male and female aspects are in you. In some people the male is more dominant, though your physical body is female. Then you become lesbian. And if your female aspect becomes more dominant and you have a male body, these tendencies may come up at different times. So don’t label yourself as wrong or feel guilty. These tendencies come and go. Many people, who are straight, suddenly have these feelings, and then they are so shaken within themselves. Many people come and talk to me about this problem. Similarly, people who label themselves as gays or lesbians suddenly find their preferences changing. So, all this is fluid. Our tendencies and mind are fluid. I tell you, we should not blame ourselves at any cost. Self-blame is a sin. When you blame yourself, you can never settle down. When you haven’t settled down, you can never focus on anything.Q:
What brings about the misuse of power?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Misuse of power is immaturity. Someone who is not mature misuses power. Such power do not stay long because it’s not power at all. It is only an illusion of power.Q:
How can one experience true love in a relationship?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
I can give you three suggestions. One is for men, one for women and one for both. Women should never step on the ego of a man. Women should always boost the ego of a man. Even if the husband is a stupid, the wife should say, “You are the most brilliant man I have ever seen.” You should always praise him. He shouldn’t have to prove himself to you at home because the world requires him to prove himself. He should find peace at home. You should say, “You are the most brilliant man I have ever seen. Just the fact that you don’t use your brain doesn’t mean that you don’t have it. You are the most brilliant.” So, praise your man all the time.Now there is one suggestion for men. Never step on the emotions of a woman. She may complain to you about her family but you should better not join the bandwagon. She may turn it around. She may take a U-Turn and say, “How dare you say such things about my family. What do you know about my family?” So if she is complaining, you just listen. She is paying lip service. If you say something and you hurt her, it is not worth it. When she wants to go for a religious service or a meditation program or retreat, don’t stop her. And when she wants to go for shopping, just give her your credit card. This will keep peace at home.
There is a suggestion for both men and women. The key to keeping peace at home is that you stop demanding love. You normally say, “Do you really love me? You don’t love me the same way. You have changed. You are different.” Asking people to prove their love for you is such a psychological burden. Just imagine yourself in their place. Imagine if someone demands from you to prove your love for them. What would you do? You’d say, “Oh my God, how long do I have to prove my love for this person?” One day, two days, three days, four days and then you feel like enough. This is what happens. There is a book called ‘Celebrating Love’ that you can read. There are many ideas about love in the book. We don’t know how to receive love unless we know how to give love. How can we express that love? Our expression is something that we keep looking for. So, don’t demand that others express their love. Instead, you should ask, “Why do you love me so much?” Especially on a day when you disagree or they are being nasty, you can say “why do you love me so much? I don’t deserve it!” Even for someone who is angry, you say, “you love me much more than I deserve”. Their attitude would change. Love would spring up in them. If you start demanding, you are destroying love.
Q:
Survivors of war and disaster sometimes feel guilty about being alive when so many around them have died. What message do you have for these people?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Life is eternal. That’s it.