This is continued from Top 9 Ways to Deal with Pre-wedding Jitters (Part-1)
#4 Dealing With Money Matters
Are the wedding bills ringing a caution bell in your mind? Since marriage is the coming together of two families and not just two individuals, it is a good idea to discuss financial issues with your fiancé. Your in-laws might be more than happy to share the expenses (even if it is not weighing heavy on you), as it is a big occasion for them too.
If there is something you want to splurge in, you might have to cut down on other things to keep within your budget. Planning with your partner on issues like the number of guests to be invited, the number of receptions to be organized, and how much each should contribute towards the expenses can make the execution of your plans much easier.
#5 Change Is Inevitable In Marriage
Can you treat your parents, teachers, friends, relatives, strangers, and acquaintances alike? After marriage, the list extends to husband, in-laws, and their extended family and friends. Quite obviously, a new set of rules will govern how you interact with them. Getting married involves plenty of adjustments, and it is nice to be clear on this before marriage.
Dr Anusha Manjani, Psychologist and Marriage Counselor, Inner Space, is of the view that marriage is a union of two very different people, who are unique and might have differences that they should discuss before getting married. Issues like shifting to a new city, buying/renting a new home, change in lifestyle, new responsibilities, adjusting to new people and environments, sharing your life with a new person, meeting new expectations, and managing finances are a few things that you might prefer discussing with your partner before marriage, and chalk out a plan that can help you both deal with them.
#6 Prioritize Work & Involve More People
Do you agree that weddings are a time that can drive anyone crazy, even the most cool-headed person? Even if you have spent months planning the big day, time always seems to be running short.
Start with listing down all that you have to plan for a wedding. This might need brainstorming with your partner and both families (if possible). Choose what tasks need to be done earlier and what can be taken care of later. Set a deadline for yourself and keep a grace period. And don't forget to have fun! It's your wedding, after all!
To make things easier, it is advisable to involve more people and delegate tasks to them than doing it all by yourself. You can supervise the work and step in whenever required. Yet, if you still want to do the lion's share, be aware that it might bring stress, and you don't want that to show on your face on your wedding day. Take a dip into meditation to de-stress every day.
#7 Have Faith, It Is Not Cold Feet
Have there been times when you've had cold feet, not sure whether you have made the correct choice? Can something be done about it?
Ponderous thoughts like these might cross your mind before marriage: will we click with each other? Will I be able to adjust with his/her family? Is s/he the one for me? These are just a few thoughts that might plague you the closer you get to the day of marriage. But it needn't necessarily be because of cold feet. Factually, a certain degree of uncertainty is pretty normal in marriages. It is good to not confuse it with cold feet, rather discuss these uncertainties.
Read more tips in the sequel to this article coming out soon
Written by Ravisha Kathuria
Based on meditation inputs by Bharathy Harish, Sahaj Samadhi Meditation teacher