Question & Answers with Sri Sri Ravi Shankar
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Love is not that mushy mushy stuff. Often we confuse our emotional entanglement or mess and give it a name ‘love’. No. Hurt is a part of love. Whenever you love somebody even if they don’t do anything against you, you may still feel hurt. This is because you want to express love fully but love can’t be fully expressed. You can’t and when you can’t you feel something is lacking. And when you feel there is something lacking to commune, you feel hurt. It needs just a little trigger from other person and then you say ‘you don’t care’, ‘you are insensitive’ and ‘let’s sort it out’, and when you talk it out, you make whole mess of it. In the beginning days of Ashram here, there was a German student who was divorced three times. He came here and fell in love with Italian girl. She didn’t know German and he didn’t know Italian, and both didn’t know English. They came to me to seek blessings, and I said surely but with one condition that the boy shouldn’t learn Italian and the girl shouldn’t learn German. Now they are already happily married for 20 years. It is talking too much that makes a mess of everything. Love is not to be expressed but felt. Dimension of love is different from intellectual talking or expression. In west love is over expressed. While sitting, standing you keep on telling each other how much do you love, and no love remains in the end. In the beginning you say, “I can’t live without you”, and you end up saying, “I can’t live with you” (laughter). It is entirely opposite in the east. They don’t express it at all. They keep everything inside to boil, but never express love. Both are at loss. I often give example of a seed. Love is like a seed. If you sow it too deeply, it won’t get sprouted. Also, if you put it on the top of ground then also nothing is sprouted. When a little soil is dug and seed is sown, it sprouts up. Same is with love. Don’t express it too much and end up with ‘let’s sort it out’. That middle path is the way.What to do with negative thoughts?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
It is ok to have negative thoughts at times. When you think a negative thought should never arise, then you encourage it. Accept even the most negative thoughts that come to you. Then you find it is not even there. It is just dim energy.
These practices bring so much inner comfort. If I do a lot of practice, will it make me more happy?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Don’t do too much of practice. Move ahead gradually. Do only as much as needed. Do that much to which your body gets accustomed to.
What to do with choices when both choices seem to be difficult? In the short run and in the long run you don’t know?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Choice is always between bad and worse. So worse is just a little step more than bad. So never mind (Laughter). Why to struggle so much!!
What is the role of surrender in fulfillment of desires? And what is the difference between desires and intentions? Which is more important – putting effort or relying on the God?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
There are two schools of thought. One is you visualize dream and work for it. Other school of thought says surrender everything to God, whatever God gives you is the best, and God will take care of everything for you. Where is the compatibility? They appear to be completely opposite. One is your own visualization, your own dream and your perseverance, and another is having trust in God and leaving everything on God. They appear to be incompatible but I would say they are very much compatible. It is good to have an intention or a goal. You don’t need to keep on visualizing your goal 24*7. But continuing to work for that, you leave it to the Divine. Only the combination of two will work. It is beautifully described in scriptures: You take a vision or goal and then you offer it to the Divine while working for that – “This is what I want and you know what is best for me. If this or anything better, I am ready to accept.” Sometimes you don’t know what you want. If you know what you want, it is not difficult to get it. Half the time we are unsure of what we want. Often you find if you are persistent to get something, you don’t want the same thing the next week, the next month or the next year. So, before you take an intention, you expand your awareness. So, put an intention in the universe - I want this or anything better. Now, what is the difference between a desire and an intention? Suppose you want to go to Mumbai from Bangalore. You buy a ticket and travel for around three hours and go there. But you don’t keep chanting in your mind all this time that you want to go to Mumbai and you are going to Mumbai. You may even land up in a mental Hospital like this! Desire is the feverishness that clogs on to an intention. An intention is a desire free from feverishness. And then working towards your intention, this faith is to be there that whatever nature brings back is for my growth.
Guruji I want to know how to have harmonious relation with juniors and at the same time take work from them?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Create a sense of belongingness with your juniors. You know that they respect you and you need to be cordial with them. Respect needs some distance, this distance is good but that should be of an arm’s length and not longer than that. A little distance is ok to keep the respect among your juniors but too much distance will bring a breakdown in communication. You need to maintain that balance. A little bit distance needs to be there so that respect is maintained at the same time communication is cordial.
I feel happy and peaceful here. My heart is really contented. All negativity comes when I go out. I encounter all problems like corruption and bribery. How to face these problems? How to maintain the same positivity when I go from here?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
You forget strength in you – prayer and power of your Sankalpa (positive intention). You keep doing practices and your things are taken care of. Don’t ask for small things in your prayers. Ask for big things – Let government be good and stable, let this knowledge reach out to many more people. It is up to you to make a divine society. You can start a collective moment. There are many good people, and a very few people who cause disturbance, but their influence looks like they are many. You come together and you will find what difference you can make.
Is there any maximum limit to how much we can meditate?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Just do as much is necessary. There is no need to do too much. Meditation is like taking a bath. To wash the mind, you need meditation. And once the mind is clean, you will be well. You take shower in the morning to clean your body. After that you do all the daily activities. You don’t have to keep on taking a shower throughout the day. It is like that. You meditate and calm your mind, then go on with other activities.
In one of your talks ‘Journey towards Enlightenment’ you said we are born with innocence and we move towards intellect, we are born with heart, feelings and emotions, and we move towards head and thoughts. Enlightenment is reverse journey from head to heart, from intellect to innocence. But the heart is in a mess, so confused. So where is the question of seeking enlightenment when it is so confused and so emotional because the heart is where all problem starts.
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Heart without wisdom is a market place of problems. That is why you have to go to your head and bring wisdom into your heart. Everything has a place. Wisdom, knowledge has its own place. Intellectual discussion has its own place. This is an intellectual discussion that we are doing. And your emotions have a place. It is beautifully said in the Bhagwad Geeta ‘Nastibudhi rayutaya, najayuktasya bhavna’ naja bhavyata shanti, ashantasya kutah sukha’ Mahatma Gandhi used to chant this daily and made his followers also do the same in their prayers. When you are not united with your spirit, your intellect can’t be sharp, is not complete and your feelings are ruffled. But when you are united with your spirit, your intellect becomes sharp and alert and your feelings blossom flawlessly like flowers. When you don’t have feelings, you can’t have peace, and how can you be happy if peace is not there. This is what Krishna asked Arjuna in Bhagwad Geeta: Where is happiness if there is no peace, if one is disturbed.
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
It will happen. Your intention is enough. Main thing is Sadhna (Practices and self effort), next is awareness, and third is - no feverishness.