Question & Answers with Sri Sri Ravi Shankar
Gurudev, The Art of Living is a 32 years old organization that spans across 152 countries and has touched the lives of 370 million people. What is the biggest challenge that you had to face?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
I do not really recollect or keep a count of these challenges. Many challenges do come but when your goal is clear to you, you keep walking.
Fundamentalists don’t like this because it is eroding their base as people become more accepting and more broad-visioned. Some people just think about themselves, what they would gain by doing petty things and have different prejudices. They have different prejudice against religion.
In the beginning when I would go around teaching meditation, some people thought that it was like voodoo; not a normal person’s cup of tea. They thought that if anybody meditates then they are someone abnormal. Today times have changed. Prejudices are lesser.
Earlier the dress I wore and the way I looked, race and religion, everything mattered. Everything was an obstacle at one point of time as it was not a universally accepted norm, but now the prejudice is far lesser.
Gurudev, did you dream of growing up to become a humanitarian?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
I wish I never grew up (laughs), and I still feel that I am a teenager who refuses to grow up.
When I was a teenager, I could not accept conflicts. I always wanted to bring peace. Whenever people fought with each other, I would want to intervene and do something about it.
Inner peace opens doors to an unseen, unknown universe where many more levels of reality are revealed to us. But the basis is peace. So my challenge was, how to convey to people that there is a bigger dimension within you and you can get access to it when you become calm and serene within yourself.
Gurudev, yesterday you said that the divine takes care of everyone, then why is there poverty, why there are floods?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Imagine a situation when there are no problems in the world.
You go to see a movie and in that movie there are no problems and no tension. A man gets up, eats, goes to work, comes home and goes to sleep, and does the same thing every day. Will you go and watch such a movie? Will you enjoy such a movie?
When do you enjoy a movie? When there is a villain in it, or some tension, or some problems in it. Then you come out and say, ‘This is a very good movie’.
In the same way, this world is like a movie for God. Anyway nobody dies from floods. They all come back in another body.
We also need something to do. Just imagine if there are no problems in the world, everybody is healthy and happy, then there will be no room for compassion. Who will you have compassion towards? Compassion and all other values will disappear.
So problems are here in this world so that we realize our purpose in this world.
Gurudev, please tell us about forgiveness. How do we forgive?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Don’t forgive, hold on to it! Who is at a loss?
An event that happened, it happened! Whether it was your mistake or somebody else’s mistake, it is over. However, if you are holding on to it, then you are suffering.
Imagine you are in that position, where a mistake happens through you. If someone else doesn’t forgive you, doesn’t understand you, and holds you responsible for all your life, how would you feel? You would feel very bad, isn’t it?
You forgive a person not for their sake, but for your own mind, so that you can save your mind. See, in life, some pleasant things happen, some unpleasant things happen. Some things we wish for them to happen, some things we don’t want in life to happen. Whatever happened, it happened; finished! You put it back, and move forward - that is very important. Do it only to save your own mind.
In fact, if you see from a wider angle, you will find that every culprit is a victim of ignorance in a situation. When you see things from this perspective, you will automatically feel compassion. We have seen this with those incarcerated, when we teach in prisons. These people who are being condemned in prisons, they are good people, but due to ignorance, due to lack of awareness, they made a mistake.
To make your life richer, I would suggest you spend five days in these different places:
1) In school with children.
2) In school, as a teacher. When you are teaching children, you understand what it is to teach. The role of a teacher makes you very rich.
3) In a mental hospital. When you are with crazy people, you realize it is the same thing as being in the outside world also. People just say anything they want. Once you have this experience, then nobody can upset you.
4) In a prison. When you are with those incarcerated, you will understand the pain and suffering of a victim.
5) On a farm. When you are with the farmers, digging soil, sowing seeds, working with mud, just being there enriches you in some unknown manner.
And one day, you should spend just by yourself, with nature.
Gurudev, what is the importance of yagna? I heard that if we do yagna, then even the rain comes. Why don’t we do a big yagna, and finish all the bad things in the world?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Have you heard about the butterfly effect? A butterfly, fluttering its wings in Amazons, can affect the clouds in China. It means, every little thing, affects every other little thing in the universe, in the cosmos. So, yagnas are those ancient rituals or practices that have an effect on the environment, on the collective consciousness, and on the individual mind.
To conduct yagnas, specific herbs would be collected on a specific, particular day.
Do you know cosmology is connected to agriculture? Recently, the Vivekanand Yoga Anusandhana Samsthana (VYASA) Research Foundation made an experiment to see theeffect of particular days, and particular times.
` Do you know of Rahu Kaal? In South India, people don’t begin anything new in Rahu Kaal. This is a particular period of one and a half hour each day, at a particular time.
The scientists did a wonderful experiment to assess the impact of vaccinations given to people during Rahu Kaal. They have produced a paper on their findings, which shows that the vaccination given during Rahu Kaal does not make an impact on the body at all.
Similarly with Agnihotra (a ritual performed to purify the atmosphere using fire), they have found how the virus that catches on to trees can be eliminated. Now trees can become healthy, just with Agnihotra, where they put certain herbs in the fire.
So, yagnas are ancient techniques where you use different herbs and create that atmosphere using the five elements, i.e., Water, Earth, Fire, Air and Ether. The thing is, you need to have people who know how to do this correctly.
Do you know, this science was almost dying, that is why we started a school here.
In 1980, when I was touring Germany, and giving lectures in different universities; at the University of Tubingen, some people took me to their manuscript library. They said, ‘Gurudev, see, there are so many Sanskrit manuscripts here, thousands of them. Do you have some scholars who can decode these things? We are unable to get scholars to decode; we are preserving the manuscripts.’
They have maintained the manuscripts so well in Hamburg University, and in Tubingen they have filmed them.
Then I came to India and held several conferences. The scholars who knew how to read these ancient scriptures, were old, and did not want to travel. They were already in their sixties and seventies, and the youngsters had no idea about the scriptures.
Since a lot of scientific information, about Ayurveda and others was present in these scriptures, I thought we should start a school. That is when we first started the Ved Vignan Maha Vidhya Peeth here, to bring scholars together and give them modern education as well.
The scholars need to know English, and they need to know the ancient text as well, only then they can translate.
What I am saying here is that, this knowledge is present in every generation. If you speak about black matter, dark matter and dark energy, these ideas were present in the ancient texts as well. Unfortunately, there is nobody who can go, read, and get some clues from it.
Here, we have Dr. Hari and his wife Hema, who have been doing a lot of research. Many of you think that Ganges is a natural river. They have made many scientific evolutions to say that it is a man-made river, which flows all the way, throughout India.
So, yagnas are one such technique that is there to nullify the negative, and create positive ions in the atmosphere. Again, that needs a little revival, like Ayurveda is getting revived. In the same way, that will also happen.
Gurudev, I try communicating with my father, I try to talk to him but he acts freaky. He gets high and creates chaos. I do not know what to do and how to communicate with him. I know he is in lot of pain and problem which is why he is not able to communicate with me or anyone. What do I do?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Win him over with love.
You know sometime you should walk the same path as the ones who create chaos and then slowly make them understand and change.
Just do this, do not oppose him for two days and do whatever he says. Give him so much love that he will melt. Did you understand? Did you get what I mean? Have you tried this way?
(Devotee: Gurudev, I have tried talking to him but it does not work.)
Talking is not good, have you asked him, ‘Papa, what do you want? What can I do for you?’ Have you asked him that?
(Devotee: No, I have not. )
See, not once you have asked him, ‘Papa, what do you want? What can I do for you?’ Now go and ask him this. ?
Do you know why people create chaos? It is because they feel insecure. They do not feel loved. They often think, ‘I do so much for my wife and children by sacrificing my whole life for them from morning till evening, yet they do not care for me.'
This feeling takes a deep hold in their heart.
In their entire life, they did not get many chances to go places and see things around. They dedicated all of their life to the welfare of their wife and children. So when they do not get any love and respect in return, they become angry.
When no one listens to them and they do not get respect then the anger increases. Though they themselves do not behave in a manner to get respect yet they do not understand this. Is this not what the issue really is?
(Devotee: Yes Gurudev)
His behavior is not such that you can give him respect, but does he understand this?
So what you need to do is, you need to go and ask him when he is in a good mood, ‘Papa what do you want? What can I do for you?’
See, no one is in an angry mood all the time! People do have good moods. When they are in a good mood then you can communicate. When they are not in a good mood, you can ask them, what is it that you can do for them.
If they are in the worst mood, just move away from the scene.
So you have three options to win over people with love and skilful communication; Yes!
Just today, a lady came and told me that her mother in law is doing so much ruckus.
She said to me, ‘This is my second marriage but it looks like this marriage too will break. My first marriage also broke because of the mother in law. Now I am so scared that this one will also break’, and saying this she started crying.
I told her, it is only your mother-in-law, so believe her and just agree to whatever she says. If she says night for day and day for night, you say, ‘Yes mother, definitely.'
To argue with her is foolish.
What can one do if one encounters foolish people? In such cases, we have little choice but to just play along and walk their path.
One such person had called me in a gathering once.
He invited me to a conference because he wanted to argue with me in front of all the people. He said, 'This book (written by Gurudev) is all wrong.'
He wanted to provoke me, so that I would get angry and argue back and forth with him. He wanted to start a fight between two communities which would cause the police to come and intervene, and a scene would have been created. He did that to get some fame. He said, 'What you have written in this book is wrong.'
I simply told him, ‘Yes it is. You are absolutely right!’
Once I agreed, there was nothing more for him to argue or fight. I understood what his intention was. His purpose was to show me down and humiliate me.
This conference happened here in Bangalore itself and it was about Hinduism and Islam.
The conference was about the concept of God in Hinduism and Islam, and I had written a book on what is common to both these religions. He just took this book and started arguing and left out the main point. He forgot about the main focus of the conference. He just wanted to create some conflict so that both the communities start fighting. Lots of people had come there. He took the book and said, 'This is wrong.' I said, ‘Yes, it could be so. But let’s leave that and focus on the main theme of the conference.'
Do you know what was the mistake in the book?
I had written commonalities of Hinduism with Sufi saints, so he said, Sufis are not Muslims.
I had said in the book that Sufis sing songs and Hindus also sing bhajans. Both Sufis and Hindus do the rosary. Sufis go around the Kaaba (referring to the Holy shrine of Mecca) and even the Hindus do the circumambulations of the main idol in temples.
Now what was wrong in that?
He wanted to defeat this good point, but I told him it is not so. I just said that the book could be wrong and that there could be printing mistakes. It was a small book of just 30 pages. I said, 'I got it printed in a haste so there could be a mistake or two. You leave that.'
In those same days, a large festival of the Jains was going on in Bangalore, where the Shvetambara and Digambara Jains perform idol worship.
However this person continued to criticize and condemn idol worship
. I told him, ‘See, this is wrong. Whichever way one chooses to worship God, you should simply let them practice that. If they are doing it and are happy with it why are you being sad and angry about it? Let them do it. You should accept everyone and move ahead in life. Even Mohammed has said this.'
I put this point before him.
So you see, some people are like this. They find pleasure in fights and have no interest in anything else, and so they just create fights. That is why I said, whatever such people say to you, just agree with them. Win them over with love.
When your mother-in-law says something, listen to it from one ear and let it go from the other ear.
You keep listening to scolding from your mother, is it not? Is there any girl who has not been scolded by her mother? From our very childhood, we get scolded by our mother. You get habituated to your mother’s scolding and it does not affect you. But if mother-in-law says something, it hurts us.
Treat your mother-in-law like your mother. How much ever your mother-in-law may scold you, you should treat it as though your mother is scolding you, and just smile and get back to work. Otherwise if your mother-in-law scolds you, and you come and cry in front of your husband, then your husband gets worried, and if he takes any sides then there is disturbance and chaos in the house. When such misery comes, then one feels like running away to the Himalayas.
When I asked people to give their names to become Swamis or Sanyasis, a lot of married individuals came and gave their names! (Laughter) Our devotee Sanjay got worried. He asked them, ‘You are married, then why are you here? You should go back and take care of your family.'
Those people came there because they were feeling so stuck and torn between their wife and their mother. So, do not create such situations.
I tell you, whatever the mother-in-law says, you should win her over with love.
If mother-in-law says anything, let her say. When one gets old they start complaining a little more. And what will she possibly complain about? She may complain that there is more salt today, or less salt; or that the vegetable is overcooked or undercooked.
She may say that you are not cleaning the house properly. And if you do a lot of cleaning, then she may say you will wipe away the entire house (a metaphor for stealing in India).
If you spends a lot then she will say you are a spendthrift, otherwise she will call you a miser.
There is no special skill required to criticize. A person can go on criticizing for the entire 24 hours of the day. They have learnt only this skill – how to criticize. This happens often between a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Your mother-in-law may say, ‘My daughter-in-law does not respect me. She is like this and that. She thinks too highly of herself and does not treat this as her own home.'
She may say many such things to her daughter-in-law. That is why you should improve your communication. Then things will change.
Gurudev, I try communicating with my father, I try to talk to him but he acts freaky. He gets high and creates chaos. I do not know what to do and how to communicate with him. I know he is in lot of pain and problem which is why he is not able to communicate with me or anyone. What do I do?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Win him over with love.
You know sometime you should walk the same path as the ones who create chaos and then slowly make them understand and change.
Just do this, do not oppose him for two days and do whatever he says. Give him so much love that he will melt. Did you understand? Did you get what I mean? Have you tried this way?
(Devotee: Gurudev, I have tried talking to him but it does not work.)
Talking is not good, have you asked him, ‘Papa, what do you want? What can I do for you?’ Have you asked him that?
(Devotee: No, I have not. )
See, not once you have asked him, ‘Papa, what do you want? What can I do for you?’ Now go and ask him this. ?
Do you know why people create chaos? It is because they feel insecure. They do not feel loved. They often think, ‘I do so much for my wife and children by sacrificing my whole life for them from morning till evening, yet they do not care for me.'
This feeling takes a deep hold in their heart.
In their entire life, they did not get many chances to go places and see things around. They dedicated all of their life to the welfare of their wife and children. So when they do not get any love and respect in return, they become angry.
When no one listens to them and they do not get respect then the anger increases. Though they themselves do not behave in a manner to get respect yet they do not understand this. Is this not what the issue really is?
(Devotee: Yes Gurudev)
His behavior is not such that you can give him respect, but does he understand this?
So what you need to do is, you need to go and ask him when he is in a good mood, ‘Papa what do you want? What can I do for you?’
See, no one is in an angry mood all the time! People do have good moods. When they are in a good mood then you can communicate. When they are not in a good mood, you can ask them, what is it that you can do for them.
If they are in the worst mood, just move away from the scene.
So you have three options to win over people with love and skilful communication; Yes!
Just today, a lady came and told me that her mother in law is doing so much ruckus.
She said to me, ‘This is my second marriage but it looks like this marriage too will break. My first marriage also broke because of the mother in law. Now I am so scared that this one will also break’, and saying this she started crying.
I told her, it is only your mother-in-law, so believe her and just agree to whatever she says. If she says night for day and day for night, you say, ‘Yes mother, definitely.'
To argue with her is foolish.
What can one do if one encounters foolish people? In such cases, we have little choice but to just play along and walk their path.
One such person had called me in a gathering once.
He invited me to a conference because he wanted to argue with me in front of all the people. He said, 'This book (written by Gurudev) is all wrong.'
He wanted to provoke me, so that I would get angry and argue back and forth with him. He wanted to start a fight between two communities which would cause the police to come and intervene, and a scene would have been created. He did that to get some fame. He said, 'What you have written in this book is wrong.'
I simply told him, ‘Yes it is. You are absolutely right!’
Once I agreed, there was nothing more for him to argue or fight. I understood what his intention was. His purpose was to show me down and humiliate me.
This conference happened here in Bangalore itself and it was about Hinduism and Islam.
The conference was about the concept of God in Hinduism and Islam, and I had written a book on what is common to both these religions. He just took this book and started arguing and left out the main point. He forgot about the main focus of the conference. He just wanted to create some conflict so that both the communities start fighting. Lots of people had come there. He took the book and said, 'This is wrong.' I said, ‘Yes, it could be so. But let’s leave that and focus on the main theme of the conference.'
Do you know what was the mistake in the book?
I had written commonalities of Hinduism with Sufi saints, so he said, Sufis are not Muslims.
I had said in the book that Sufis sing songs and Hindus also sing bhajans. Both Sufis and Hindus do the rosary. Sufis go around the Kaaba (referring to the Holy shrine of Mecca) and even the Hindus do the circumambulations of the main idol in temples.
Now what was wrong in that?
He wanted to defeat this good point, but I told him it is not so. I just said that the book could be wrong and that there could be printing mistakes. It was a small book of just 30 pages. I said, 'I got it printed in a haste so there could be a mistake or two. You leave that.'
In those same days, a large festival of the Jains was going on in Bangalore, where the Shvetambara and Digambara Jains perform idol worship.
However this person continued to criticize and condemn idol worship
. I told him, ‘See, this is wrong. Whichever way one chooses to worship God, you should simply let them practice that. If they are doing it and are happy with it why are you being sad and angry about it? Let them do it. You should accept everyone and move ahead in life. Even Mohammed has said this.'
I put this point before him.
So you see, some people are like this. They find pleasure in fights and have no interest in anything else, and so they just create fights. That is why I said, whatever such people say to you, just agree with them. Win them over with love.
When your mother-in-law says something, listen to it from one ear and let it go from the other ear.
You keep listening to scolding from your mother, is it not? Is there any girl who has not been scolded by her mother? From our very childhood, we get scolded by our mother. You get habituated to your mother’s scolding and it does not affect you. But if mother-in-law says something, it hurts us.
Treat your mother-in-law like your mother. How much ever your mother-in-law may scold you, you should treat it as though your mother is scolding you, and just smile and get back to work. Otherwise if your mother-in-law scolds you, and you come and cry in front of your husband, then your husband gets worried, and if he takes any sides then there is disturbance and chaos in the house. When such misery comes, then one feels like running away to the Himalayas.
When I asked people to give their names to become Swamis or Sanyasis, a lot of married individuals came and gave their names! (Laughter) Our devotee Sanjay got worried. He asked them, ‘You are married, then why are you here? You should go back and take care of your family.'
Those people came there because they were feeling so stuck and torn between their wife and their mother. So, do not create such situations.
I tell you, whatever the mother-in-law says, you should win her over with love.
If mother-in-law says anything, let her say. When one gets old they start complaining a little more. And what will she possibly complain about? She may complain that there is more salt today, or less salt; or that the vegetable is overcooked or undercooked.
She may say that you are not cleaning the house properly. And if you do a lot of cleaning, then she may say you will wipe away the entire house (a metaphor for stealing in India).
If you spends a lot then she will say you are a spendthrift, otherwise she will call you a miser.
There is no special skill required to criticize. A person can go on criticizing for the entire 24 hours of the day. They have learnt only this skill – how to criticize. This happens often between a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Your mother-in-law may say, ‘My daughter-in-law does not respect me. She is like this and that. She thinks too highly of herself and does not treat this as her own home.'
She may say many such things to her daughter-in-law. That is why you should improve your communication. Then things will change.
Gurudev, I try communicating with my father, I try to talk to him but he acts freaky. He gets high and creates chaos. I do not know what to do and how to communicate with him. I know he is in lot of pain and problem which is why he is not able to communicate with me or anyone. What do I do?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Win him over with love.
You know sometime you should walk the same path as the ones who create chaos and then slowly make them understand and change.
Just do this, do not oppose him for two days and do whatever he says. Give him so much love that he will melt. Did you understand? Did you get what I mean? Have you tried this way?
(Devotee: Gurudev, I have tried talking to him but it does not work.)
Talking is not good, have you asked him, ‘Papa, what do you want? What can I do for you?’ Have you asked him that?
(Devotee: No, I have not. )
See, not once you have asked him, ‘Papa, what do you want? What can I do for you?’ Now go and ask him this.
Do you know why people create chaos? It is because they feel insecure. They do not feel loved. They often think, ‘I do so much for my wife and children by sacrificing my whole life for them from morning till evening, yet they do not care for me.'
This feeling takes a deep hold in their heart.
In their entire life, they did not get many chances to go places and see things around. They dedicated all of their life to the welfare of their wife and children. So when they do not get any love and respect in return, they become angry.
When no one listens to them and they do not get respect then the anger increases. Though they themselves do not behave in a manner to get respect yet they do not understand this. Is this not what the issue really is?
(Devotee: Yes Gurudev)
His behavior is not such that you can give him respect, but does he understand this?
So what you need to do is, you need to go and ask him when he is in a good mood, ‘Papa what do you want? What can I do for you?’
See, no one is in an angry mood all the time! People do have good moods. When they are in a good mood then you can communicate. When they are not in a good mood, you can ask them, what is it that you can do for them.
If they are in the worst mood, just move away from the scene.
So you have three options to win over people with love and skilful communication; Yes!
Just today, a lady came and told me that her mother in law is doing so much ruckus.
She said to me, ‘This is my second marriage but it looks like this marriage too will break. My first marriage also broke because of the mother in law. Now I am so scared that this one will also break’, and saying this she started crying.
I told her, it is only your mother-in-law, so believe her and just agree to whatever she says. If she says night for day and day for night, you say, ‘Yes mother, definitely.'
To argue with her is foolish.
What can one do if one encounters foolish people? In such cases, we have little choice but to just play along and walk their path.
One such person had called me in a gathering once.
He invited me to a conference because he wanted to argue with me in front of all the people. He said, 'This book (written by Gurudev) is all wrong.'
He wanted to provoke me, so that I would get angry and argue back and forth with him. He wanted to start a fight between two communities which would cause the police to come and intervene, and a scene would have been created. He did that to get some fame. He said, 'What you have written in this book is wrong.'
I simply told him, ‘Yes it is. You are absolutely right!’
Once I agreed, there was nothing more for him to argue or fight. I understood what his intention was. His purpose was to show me down and humiliate me.
This conference happened here in Bangalore itself and it was about Hinduism and Islam.
The conference was about the concept of God in Hinduism and Islam, and I had written a book on what is common to both these religions. He just took this book and started arguing and left out the main point. He forgot about the main focus of the conference. He just wanted to create some conflict so that both the communities start fighting. Lots of people had come there. He took the book and said, 'This is wrong.' I said, ‘Yes, it could be so. But let’s leave that and focus on the main theme of the conference.'
Do you know what was the mistake in the book?
I had written commonalities of Hinduism with Sufi saints, so he said, Sufis are not Muslims.
I had said in the book that Sufis sing songs and Hindus also sing bhajans. Both Sufis and Hindus do the rosary. Sufis go around the Kaaba (referring to the Holy shrine of Mecca) and even the Hindus do the circumambulations of the main idol in temples.
Now what was wrong in that?
He wanted to defeat this good point, but I told him it is not so. I just said that the book could be wrong and that there could be printing mistakes. It was a small book of just 30 pages. I said, 'I got it printed in a haste so there could be a mistake or two. You leave that.'
In those same days, a large festival of the Jains was going on in Bangalore, where the Shvetambara and Digambara Jains perform idol worship.
However this person continued to criticize and condemn idol worship.
I told him, ‘See, this is wrong. Whichever way one chooses to worship God, you should simply let them practice that. If they are doing it and are happy with it why are you being sad and angry about it? Let them do it. You should accept everyone and move ahead in life. Even Mohammed has said this.'
I put this point before him.
So you see, some people are like this. They find pleasure in fights and have no interest in anything else, and so they just create fights. That is why I said, whatever such people say to you, just agree with them. Win them over with love.
When your mother-in-law says something, listen to it from one ear and let it go from the other ear.
You keep listening to scolding from your mother, is it not? Is there any girl who has not been scolded by her mother? From our very childhood, we get scolded by our mother. You get habituated to your mother’s scolding and it does not affect you. But if mother-in-law says something, it hurts us.
Treat your mother-in-law like your mother. How much ever your mother-in-law may scold you, you should treat it as though your mother is scolding you, and just smile and get back to work. Otherwise if your mother-in-law scolds you, and you come and cry in front of your husband, then your husband gets worried, and if he takes any sides then there is disturbance and chaos in the house. When such misery comes, then one feels like running away to the Himalayas.
When I asked people to give their names to become Swamis or Sanyasis, a lot of married individuals came and gave their names! (Laughter) Our devotee Sanjay got worried. He asked them, ‘You are married, then why are you here? You should go back and take care of your family.'
Those people came there because they were feeling so stuck and torn between their wife and their mother. So, do not create such situations.
I tell you, whatever the mother-in-law says, you should win her over with love.
If mother-in-law says anything, let her say. When one gets old they start complaining a little more. And what will she possibly complain about? She may complain that there is more salt today, or less salt; or that the vegetable is overcooked or undercooked.
She may say that you are not cleaning the house properly. And if you do a lot of cleaning, then she may say you will wipe away the entire house (a metaphor for stealing in India).
If you spend a lot, then she will say you are a spendthrift, otherwise she will call you a miser.
There is no special skill required to criticize. A person can go on criticizing for the entire 24 hours of the day. They have learnt only this skill – how to criticize. This happens often between a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Your mother-in-law may say, ‘My daughter-in-law does not respect me. She is like this and that. She thinks too highly of herself and does not treat this as her own home.'
She may say many such things to her daughter-in-law. That is why you should improve your communication. Then things will change.
Gurudev, if we lose our footwear or if someone takes it away, is it true that they take away our bad karma?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
If it was an expensive shoe, then yes, it is better to think that way . At least you will get peaceful sleep at night. But if it was a cheap slipper… (Gurudev nods his head).
See the main idea was to tell the people to be in the present moment.
Don’t hang on to the past and crib over it and spoil this moment. What happened has happened! Finished!
You are stuck in the traffic jam, finished! Now when you have reached home, don’t waste your next two hours talking about how you should have taken a different route. It is a useless waste of time.
Our ancient people had such great ideas and so they told you, ’Oh! It is because of the stars that this thing happened to you.’ Now you can’t get angry at the stars.
So instead of getting angry at the people around you, you say, ’Oh, It is because of my karma, my stars, that this has happened.’
So you get a certain amount of acceptability and calmness, and that helps you move forward in life without being bitter.
This is one beautiful thing about India.
In Indian society, bad things may happen, but we don’t get bitter about it and crib about it.
I wish the whole world learns this lesson.
It is something that comes in our culture; in our blood. If anything bad happens in the society, we are resilient, we move on without cribbing about it.
It is very interesting.
Generally, people say, ‘You did this to me 50 years ago and still you are my enemy.’ People keep that animosity and enmity in their mind and heart.
But here, this is a very unique thing. We do not nurture the enmity and animosity.
Dear Gurudev, why is the path of spirituality so difficult and trying at times? Sometimes I feel life was much simpler when I was ignorant.
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Spirituality is difficult? (Gurudev smiles)
Who says so? If it is difficult, how could you be smiling?
Before you were insensitive, now you have become sensitive, that is it!
When you are thick skinned, nothing matters at all. You do not feel anything. You just simply carry on with your life. But when you become sensitive; when the cloth becomes pure and white, even a small stain or dot appears big, that is all.
Spirituality is not going to bring you misery at all.
It is said, ‘Heyam dukham anagatam’. It is the principle of Yoga, the goal of Yoga; the aim of Yoga is to stop the misery that is yet to come.