Question & Answers with Sri Sri Ravi Shankar
Q:
After coming on the path I find it difficult to fulfill religious rituals. I don’t understand should we continue doing that or leave that. Please guide.
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
There is a couplet by Saint kabir:karka manka chod kar,
Manka manka fer.
It is best to do meditation. But I don’t say one should completely abandon rituals. You perform some rituals on festivals. A little bit of rituals are good. But don’t be too much stuck with the rituals. E.g. if you had resolved to perform a ritual and due to some circumstances you were not able to fulfill that, then there is no need to think that God will be angry with you or you have acquired some sin. I give you guarantee. Maharishi Narada has also said ‘ God is total love’.
Devotion and surrender are greater than any ritual. A little bit ritual is necessary for two reasons. Children are introduced to religion and spirituality through the rituals. Secondly, performing rituals also purify the atmosphere at home. E.g. when all family members come together and do Pooja on Diwali, the atmosphere of our home changes. It is same when you offer Ardas in Gurudwara.
There is no need to be afraid of or feel guilty if you couldn’t keep up with the ritual due to any reason.
Q:
When intellect and heart say different things, whom should we follow?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
When it comes to work, follow your intellect. And follow your heart when it comes to service.Q:
How do I learn not to be selfish? Can I learn to act without a lot of self-doubt?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
You are already not selfish! You are already out of it, my dear. Just know that you are not selfish. That’s it. Why? Because when you feel you are selfish, something irritates you, you don’t feel comfortable. You feel comfortable when you are at home and in your element. And that is already being generous. You can never cultivate virtues. You simply have them. You have to assume that you have them; then virtues will grow.You know what is doubt? Doubt is always about something that is positive. Isn’t it? If someone tells you, ‘I love you so much’, you say, “Really?” Yet someone says, ‘I hate you’ and you don’t say this. We never doubt when someone says, ‘I dislike you.’ ‘I too dislike you’, immediately it comes. ‘If you dislike me, I hate you more!’ But if someone says, ‘I love you,’ we say, “Really?” We doubt someone’s integrity. We question someone’s honesty. We never question their dishonesty. We doubt our capabilities. We never doubt our incapabilities or weaknesses. We take our weaknesses as the gospel truth. Similarly when someone asks if we are happy, we say we are not sure! We are never sure about unhappiness but this is never said in regard to depression. If someone asks you if you you depressed, will you say, ‘Well, I am not sure I am depressed.’ No? So sure about your depression! We are certain.
We doubt love. We doubt someone’s honesty. We doubt sincerity. Someone may be sincere all their life and be insincere in one incident. We believe in that insincerity more than their sincerity. Isn’t it? It’s the nature of doubt. That’s why we doubt the existence of God also. God is all truth so we doubt. He may be there or not. When we know the nature of doubt and go through the doubt, something starts to wake up within you. That is what I would call trust.
Trust in yourself. Trust in people around you and the law of nature. This will keep you healthy. Otherwise paranoia takes over the mind. If you can’t believe anybody, you can’t believe your spouse, your children, your neighbors, your friends, your brother. You will find everybody is a cheat and out to get you. Everybody wants something from you. This sort of paranoia shrinks our personality. Peace and spirituality ,I say, are the AC. Just as this room is air-conditioned so that you can feel comfortable sitting here, the spirit and mind function similarly and absolute comfort is called spirituality. AC for the spirit!
Q:
In the continuation of the same thing, should we believe in the match- making of the birth chart etc. Should we believe in all that? Does match of mangalik-non mangalik matter?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
It is science but it depends on who does it. Many times in the name of astrology, people cheat others. There is something in chart matching, and you can do all that if you like. But Chanting ‘Om Namah Shivaye’ is best cure for all the short comings.Q:
Why do good people suffer?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Everyone has something good in them and everyone has something foolish in them. And it is because of the foolishness that you suffer.Q:
If whatever we do is in search of happiness, then why is there so much pain and misery in the world?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
There is a story of Mullah Nasurudin. His wife was pregnant and the time of delivery had come. But the baby was not coming out. When doctor told this to Mullah Nasurudin, he ran to the market, bought a toy, and kept that toy in front of her wife. He said, “After all this is my child, so he will surely come out with greed”. Whole our life we keep on running behind things with the hope of getting something. We keep on looking for some kind of profit. How would such person experience happiness? Neither does a greedy person get happiness nor does a person who is bombarded with too many desires. The one who relaxes in his consciousness is happy. One, who is centered, experiences the true happiness. I am not saying there is no happiness in the outer world, but the happiness you get when you go within is incomparable.The world is running in search of happiness. The body gets baked, the mind gets baked, the intellect gets deluded but still we keep on getting stuck in the same repetitive cycle. When you meet Guru, you come to know that you are the source of happiness. Then the mind calms down, and you realize that you are the one in whose search you kept on running here and there.
Q:
I always run into obstacles when there is something I really want to achieve. What should I do?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Whatever intention you put, that will manifest. Do not label yourself. There should be no “always.” Accept that you are unaware of your own potentiality. You may think you always have some difficulty, but thinking so is what points the intention in a negative direction. Just know that whatever you want will happen.Q:
If something bad happens to a person we say that the previous birth karma is responsible. Will you please speak about that?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
‘Paap kya punya kyat tu bhulade’Karam kar phal ki chinta tu mitade’Forget what is sinful and what is noble. Be free from the desire of the fruit of action. Don’t sit and worry too much about all this.I have spoken more on this in Celebrating silence (a book written by Sri Sri Ravi Shankar Ravi Shankar).Q:
What mistake can’t be forgiven?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
One who does not forgive, he is mistaken.Q:
What is the importance of horoscope matching when it comes to marriage?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Astrology is a science but all astrologers are not scientists. (laughter) First of all, you don’t know whether the time of your birth and all other factors are right or not. Sometimes, we don’t keep records and there are variousfactors. There is probability in all those factors. So, if you find someone who is good, the astrologer says, ‘Good, it does have a value but it is always with a pinch of salt.’It is said that there was a great astrologer of this country and he made all thehoroscopes of his daughter. But his daughter’s marriage didn’t work. It was quoted as a probability factor.In all scientific experiments, there is always a probability factor – may be, may not be.So we must take it with that probability and not as definite.