Question & Answers with Sri Sri Ravi Shankar
How can I overcome anger and resentment?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Don’t try to overcome both. Tackle them one by one. I say, stop the resentment and agree to be angry. Anger and resentment have a chain reaction – you get angry and then you resent; resentment will then turn to anger. Either you are angry with somebody or you are angry with yourself. You are angry with yourself and this causes anger towards somebody else. You may be angry with somebody else but then, as soon as your anger fades, you resent yourself and feel, “How could I lose my temper like that?” So, first decide to be just angry. It does not matter. Just get rid of resentment. This is the first step you can take. Anger is part of your life. As a child you would get very angry. Look at a small child who is holding a toy; just take the toy away from him and see his reaction. His whole body shakes and he gets angry. He yells and shouts, but he is normal the next instant. It doesn’t take a child very long to do this. You get angry but the next moment bring the smile back to your face. Don’t resent. Laugh at your own anger – “Oh, I had a big blow-up today! It was fantastic. It is such fun to watch others’ faces when I get angry! How they reacted to my anger! How soon they caught on to it!” You will soon see that the anger in you turns into alertness; into awareness. That is where pranayama and kriya will come to your aid over a period of time. The resentment had stopped earlier, now the anger will gradually disappear.
Why is Krishna’s navel called Padmanabha (Solar Plexus)?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Solar Plexus is second brain or mid brain. For a Yogi, Solar Plexus is larger in size. Scientists have also said this. It is small in a person who doesn’t do yoga and meditation. When solar plexus is larger, one is creative and generous. When it is smaller, one is jealous. Krishna is called Padmanabha, his Solar Plexus is like a fully blossomed flower. Padma not only means lotus, it also means flower. Fully blossomed flower is usually referred to as padma.
What would be your best memory of happiness?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Happiness is when you want nothing, and you want to give. Where the wanting and desires end, and the sharing begin, happiness is exactly there. Memory is not happiness. When you are happy, you forget everything. It is when happiness is gone that you dwell in its memory. In the world, people are either dreaming of happiness or remembering happiness. That is either being in the past or the future. But happiness is that which is in the present. And it is your very nature.
Dear Guruji, I noticed that I am unconsciously always comparing myself with others. Tell me how to stop it please?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
If you are unconsciously stopping it, it will unconsciously stop also. Why do you consciously want to stop? Let it be. Got it? Your trying to stop it consciously becomes a problem. You get stuck. So just relax. Just relax and continue more meditation, more Advanced and Silence programmes. These will de-program you from that thing.
There are so many attractions and distractions but still the youth is so bored.
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Youth is bored and it’s their fortune. If they were satisfied then growth would have stopped. When they are bored then the quest comes in them. They are not satisfied with the things available around. And this is the stage when they can take a step to look within, a leap in their inner journey, a step towards spirituality. An interest in higher growth gets kindled when you are bored with things around. When you find source of joy within, then obviously everything around is also reflecting the same source of joy, then you find interest in everything. Continuous bombardment of senses by stimuli can cause inertia. Inertia is boredom, is a form of boredom. Again when prana level goes up, you move from inertia to enthusiasm.
How can one balance household duties, business and service?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
How do you balance a bike? When you fall more to the left, you bend right, and when you are falling more to the right, you bend to your left. There is no theory, you just do it. It balances automatically. It pinches one if one doesn't do service at all and is always bothered about oneself. If you are in your senses, it will pinch you, otherwise one is not human. If you are not touched by others' misery then you are not human but stone. Similarly, if one is only into social service, then also it bothers
How to overcome self pity?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
The moment you recognize, you stop it. That is it. If you are asking for someone else, then they (themselves) only can come out of it. Only meditation can help. Do advance course.
Guruji you give so much importance to Satsang. Is there any scientific reason behind?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Satsang means company of reality, being in touch with the truth. Satsang is not just singing. Singing some complicated songs which you don’t understand is not Satsang. Music is part of it. Second part is, understanding the logic. Third part is sitting and reposing in yourself in deep meditation, being with yourself.
Why does the divine answer and reward some while prayers of others go unanswered?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Well, I don’t know why some prayers get answered and some are not. I have no idea. Perhaps it is good for you. Perhaps you may change your mind about what you want. People go to shopping, this often happens at least in India, and ask shopkeeper, “Can I come later and exchange it if I don’t like it”. They go home and don’t like it and get it exchanged next day. Most unreliable thing you have is your own mind because you don’t know what it likes and when it doesn’t like that. That is why bringing mind to its source is so important. Its centeredness is the most important thing in spiritual evolution. Understanding what is transient and what is permanent, what brings you permanent joy and what causes temporary convenience and long term misery, what causes temporary discomfort and permanent joy, and what causes long term discomfort. That is what is called viveka, sense of discretion, wisdom – knowing this from that.
There are many things in my life which I think are not ok. I don’t know what to do about these things
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
When you say, ‘It’s not ok, it’s not ok’, the seed of ‘not ok’ is not letting your mind to relax. When do you go to bed? When everything is ok, and when there is comfort. When you are hanging on to the discomfort, how can you ever be comfortable? You have to accept things as they are. ‘It’s not ok, it’s not ok’ keeps you all outside. Those imperfections are there for a cause or purpose. It is going to be ok, it will take some time. Things are ok the way they are now, They will be ok in the future Whatever happened in the past was ok. When you understand this, you relax and in that relaxation you can meditate. When you want to retire, its nivriti but when you want to come out (of rest) its pravritti. Then you can act. When you are tired but you are hanging on to what is not ok - then you cannot retire. When you have to chill out, what do you say? ‘Everything is perfect,’ otherwise you can’t chill, you can’t act! It is neither pravritti, nor nivriti. Dhyan yoga is nivriti, Karma yoga is pravritti. Most people are hanging onto the ‘not ok’ and are unable to relax, to enjoy life, to chill, to be creative. They are holding onto the seed of ‘not ok’. That person, this situation, the government, the administration - everything is not ok. Then it comes to you - I am not ok. Subtly, it reflects on you that you are not OK. Then you don't like that feeling, and to cover that up, you make up many justifications and the mind is all confused. If tamogun is too much, you don't know the pravritti or the nivriti. When there is Satva, then we know what to act, when to act, whether to act or not. When Rajogun prevails then its half way through - you regret and act. Many of us act and then we regret. Mother scolds her child, regrets it and then becomes nice. In Satva, you don't regret, you retire and relax, there is clarity. In Rajogun, there is confusion and chaos. In Tamogun, there is total inertia and lethargy. There is no strict border between the three gunas. It is very fluid, one flows into another.