Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Look, if you have too many desires that is a problem. it is too scattered. Focus on one desire at a time.
Do you really want to get married? Why didn’t you do it so far? Are you being too picky and choosy? When the time comes you don’t go ahead, and later on you think you cannot find anybody.
Once a gentleman who was in his 60’s came to me and said, ‘Gurudev, I am looking for a soul mate, but I haven't found one’.
I said, 'Wait for another 15 years, you’ll find her in heaven'.
You know, don’t be too fussy about it. Look for a good person and get married. Even if they’re not good, you can change them, make them better!
I want to tell you a story about the Shakespeare of India. Have you heard about him? His name was Kalidasa and he is called the Shakespeare of India because he wrote some of the most excellent work in Sanskrit literature.
If anyone wants to learn Sanskrit, they cannot miss Kalidasa. How he became Kalidasa is very interesting.
There was a great king, a very well known emperor of India. He had a daughter and his daughter was very beautiful. She was very intelligent, very smart and knew everything with perfection. So it was very difficult for the king to find a suitable match because she had to interview him.
See, in India, in the ancient times, women had all the power! It is the women who chose men, like Sita had her own Swayamvara. A Swayamvara is a ceremony where the woman can choose the person with whom she wants to get married.
So, the story goes, all the princes from the princely states were invited. Princes from many places flocked there because they had heard about her intelligence and her beauty. Some were very scared, as she would ask them a question and nobody could answer her questions.
So she rejected everybody, and year after year this kept happening. The king was a little worried but the prime minister was quite annoyed. She probably insulted him and the story goes that he was annoyed with her. The prime minister thought, ‘I have to teach this shrew a lesson, I have to tame her'.
So once he was passing by the forest and he saw a wood cutter who was sitting on the branch of a tree and cutting the head of the branch!. Suddenly an idea struck him and he said, ‘Hey come down!'
When he came down he said, 'You come with me'.
The woodcutter agreed and the minister asked him to be silent and only answer the questions with hand gestures. So he dressed the woodcutter up a little bit, and took him to the palace. He went to the princess and said, ‘I have brought a really brilliant guy for you’.
She said, ‘Okay, I will propose three questions to him’.
So she asked him, what is the truth of the world, he answered showing his index finger.
Then she asked, how the creation was created, and he answered by gesturing the number two with his hand.
The third question also passed in a similar fashion and she was very impressed. So she got married to him. When she got married, then she realized that he did not even know to write an alphabet. He was just a wood cutter in the forest. She felt cheated, but during those days in India, once you marry, that is it. You marry with all the five elements as a witness and then you are wedded for life.
Now she felt very cheated. She went to the temple and she cried before the Mother Divine. Then she realized how arrogant she was. She rejected so many people and caused pain to so many because she was trying to choose someone better, someone who could defeat her, but look what happened. She wanted to be defeated in a different sense, but she got defeated in another sense.
She does this and she goes into deep meditation.
It is said, at that time, the Mother Divine came and asked this man, who was sitting there completely bewildered, to stretch his tongue out. So he stretched his tongue and she wrote Om on it. With this experience he immediately started reciting a poem called Smalaya Tandegam, and from then on he was known as the Kalidasa.
Kalidasa wrote the most exquisite of literature and wonderful poetry; such deep description, such intelligence, and so much pun in it. It is considered very beautiful.
So if you get somebody who is not up to your mark, I tell you, you have the ability to change them! This is the reason why I said this story. Believe in it (ability) and move on. If it doesn't happen over a few years, you have your way and they have their way.