If you are at ease with yourself everyone will be at ease with you
April 06, 2012
Contentment and happiness are very important. Other things come and go. We have come on this planet so many times, we will come again. Life is continuous; it is coming and going, coming and going.
Q: How do I keep my spirit high all the time?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Just remember why you are disturbed, it is because of small things and know that it will all be alright.
So when you see all these things come and go and everything will be alright, then you say, ‘I am not going to be disturbed by this. I am bigger than this.’ Yes!
Just that thought in the mind – I am bigger than this. Then the spirit is uplifted higher.
So I am not the body; body is undergoing so many changes all the time. Sometimes I feel tired, sometimes I feel strong. I am much bigger than the body.
People think mind is inside the body, this is wrong, body is inside the mind.
The mind is like a candle, there is a wick and there is flame above the wick. If you close the candle with a lid, it will burn only as long as there is oxygen. In the same way, if you put somebody in the room and close it, they will be alive only till oxygen is there in the room. So the mind is like the glow that lives on oxygen, on consciousness. So first there is the body and then there is the mind, so the mind is much bigger. When you remember this, that the mind is like a flame, it is much bigger then there is peace. Still if something bothers you then breathe (referring to Sudarshan Kriya). With fast breathing and Bhastrika, it becomes better.
Q: Guruji, why do relationships take away our freedom?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: If there is wisdom in relationships, it does not take away freedom. If there is no wisdom, then there is no freedom. It is not the relationship that gives you or takes away freedom. It is lack of wisdom.
Q: Dear Guruji, what is my duty? Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Listen to your heart. You heart will tell you what your duty is.
Q: Jai Gurudev, are the bad things in our life also grace? Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: If you look from a broader perspective, you will see, those incidences which were painful has given you some depth and made you more mature. So the painful incidences give you depth and maturity.
Whenever you are unhappy you should surrender. Usually when you are angry you say, ‘I give up!’
So you should have the power to drop things when you are unhappy, and power to do service when you are happy. Service in happiness and renunciation in unhappiness.
Q: Guruji, I want to make a difference in the world in a massive way. How do I discover the way to make that difference?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: I want people like you who have this spirit to make a big difference in the world. Come and I will send you to different places where you can go and do a lot of work. You already have a ready-made platform. You don’t have to do it from scratch which would take another thirty years to do. You have a ready-made platform, take a jump from here and take it to another level.
See, I want to do something, is one thing, but another is, what is needed in the world we need to do that. I want to make a difference is different from we need to make a difference in the world. What is needed for the world let us all do that. This is the spirit that we should have.
Q: Dear Guruji, fear bothers me a lot, what to do? Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Why fear, when I am here. You belong to me and I belong to you. When you feel that you are alone and you have nobody, only then you fear.
Fear is when you feel loneliness, when you feel that you are not connected. Fear is love standing upside down. Never mind, just do some ujjayi breathing and attend satsangs, and it will change.
Q: Guruji, I think I am addicted to sex. I have no self control when it comes to sex. I try very hard, but I can’t control myself.
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: I think you have too much free time. If you are busy and you work hard and then you get so tired that you are waiting to hit the pillow, the moment you hit the pillow you will fall asleep.
Either you have too much free time or you are eating too much, then obsessions and addictions come up. It is always related to too much food and too much sex.
Q: On the spiritual path is it bad to marry and have children? Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: No, you can marry and you can have children.
That is why I have started the department Sri Sri Matrimony, so that all the single girls and bachelors can put their names in it, and then one day we will have a swayamvar. Then you can choose whom you want to marry.
We have that already, it just needs to be developed a little. Someone needs to put a little attention into it; someone who is good at match making.
Q: Guruji, after all these years, I am still struggling, why? Love you Guruji! Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: You love me and then you are struggling. Struggling for what?
You are struggling for money, then don’t sit and day dream, do hard work. If one business does not work, choose another business and do it.
You can only struggle with two things, a job or relationship.
If you are not getting married, you have been too choosy and so things are not working. And if you are already in a relationship and then you are struggling, then of course the knowledge point comes here, accept people as they are. So you try to accept them more and more, but your mind says no. Know that it is because of the knowledge that you are able to sustain and survive. Do you see what I am saying? Somehow you are making things work.
So don’t think nothing works for you. I don’t think that is a fact.
The third issue could be health. There is no fourth issue. And being in The Art of Living always helps you to somehow manage all the three.
Don’t sit and day dream and only think about miracles to happen. Miracles do happen, but if you crave for miracles then they will take a back seat. Nature wants you to be dynamic.
There are people who have asked me, ‘Guruji, please give me some numbers for my lottery ticket. I just want to win a lottery so that I don’t have to do anything. Just do sadhana all the time and some seva.’ No ways!
First of all, decide what it is that you want from life.
Struggling with what? With money?!
You know money is something that you will always find people short of money. Always!
You can see for example, the richest country, the only super power on this planet is USA and it is under heavy debt; trillions of dollars of debt. You take big companies; many of them are in debt.
The richer a person gets, the more expenses he has to do. At the same time, there are poor people who are contributing towards charity, poor people who take time to do service, which is amazing. They feel so much abundance.
The other day in India, a gentleman comes to me. He has a small shop; a small little kiosk for himself, and he had inherited two plots of land. So he comes to me and offers me one plot of land. He says, ‘I want to give this plot to you’, he insisted. He came with his whole family, his wife, his mother and said, ‘I have two, I want to donate one and keep the other one.’
The plot is in a very expensive location of the city and he could make a big fortune from it. But look at the heart in that guy.
I said, ‘Okay, I will take it, but it will be in your name only. You should keep it for me and you build your shop here. Sell the other plot and with the money that you get, do business.’
I could not say I won’t take this to him because he will feel hurt, so I said, ‘Yes this is mine, but it will be in your name and you should have it.’
Look at the broad mind of that person.
Another day, a very poor lady comes, and she had just one gold chain that she inherited. I was going in the car and she comes running and gives me an envelope in my hand.
Usually people give me envelopes with letters in it of some problems. So I took the envelope, and in it I found a gold chain. Then I told some people to go and find this lady and give the chain back to her saying, Guruji sent you blessings.
Do you know, during our silver jubilee, there is a beautiful story that happened! I came down from the steps on the last day and a small boy comes running to me with tears in his eyes and he gives me an envelope. I take the envelope and it had Rs. 5000 in it. I looked at that boy and I said, ‘What do you do?’
He said he is a laborer.
The money in the envelope that he had given me had two months of his earnings, and he said, ‘Please take this.’
He said, ‘I can’t tell you how much my life has transformed. Please accept this.’
I took just Rs.100 from that and returned back Rs. 4900. I told him, you know this Rs.100 is so precious for me, this is enough. I will take this.
2 months of his salary; someone who is a laborer who does manual work, he comes and offers. Such a big heart is there in people.
What I am saying is you too should feel abundance. You don’t have to be very rich to feel the abundance. In fact many rich people don’t feel abundance at all, they feel lack. They are not generous. But poor people are very generous; they have that feeling, that art.
Don’t imagine a situation where you will become super rich one day and then you will start doing some seva, no, nothing like that. You can feel abundance at any point of time. And the moment you start feeling abundance, you will see things will get better, got it!
Similarly, don’t be feverish about a relationship, just relax and you will find your relationship with people will improve and become better. If you are like a leech, clinging on to somebody in a relationship and bugging them, even though you say all nice words, that person will run away from you because they can’t handle it.
One aspect is to give love, and another is to know how to handle love, receive love as well. It needs only a centered, enlightened person. Now don’t expect that type of behavior from everybody.
You have to be very much at ease with yourself. If you are at ease with yourself, everyone will be at ease with you.
Q: Guruji, I want to fully surrender myself to you. Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: No, don’t do it at all. Why do you want to surrender? Why do you have to surrender? No need. Just relax!
Your wanting to surrender becomes such a big work for you and for me; headache! You don’t need to surrender, just relax. What do you need to surrender? Your heart, mind and soul? No way, it already belongs to me. Everything belongs to me.
Someone was singing, ‘Oh, you stole my heart.’ Why should I steal something which is already mine? Why would I steal your heart? I feel everybody on the planet belongs to me already, got it!
I don’t need to steal and you don’t need to surrender. You already belong to me. So just relax!
You know this word surrender helps when you have a load of negativity on your head. If you have negativity or hatred then you surrender that. You don’t need to surrender any good qualities or anything that is nice because it is already mine. What is not mine is all the negativity, and if you seem to have it, just give it up.