06 February 2014 - QA 5

Gurudev, you say in the Yoga Sutras that those who are not doing good, one should educate and ignore them. But Gurudev, what to do if that person is our life partner and we have to live with him? How do I ignore him or improve him?

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:

We have to ask him also, what’s his opinion about you.

I am not qualified to answer this question, I have no experience, I don't talk about subjects in which I have no experience, still I would say create a space for him as he is. Don’t try to become his teacher.

The biggest issue with men is if you step on their ego, then that is it, he is not going to learn from you. He’ll become like a rebellious kid. A woman should always take care that she does not step on the ego of her man, but keeps pumping his ego. Making him feel good about himself.

When a person doesn’t feel good about himself that is when he creates trouble for everybody around him. You should realize this. You have to teach him in such a way that he doesn’t feel like he is being taught; you have to do it in a good mood, in a good way.

We need to have patience, that’s the thing. Accept people with so much patience. Or indirectly, through his friends you have to teach him. Not directly but through someone else. Use your smartness. I know you are very smart.

And finally, if there is an intention in your heart, if there is pain in your heart, ‘Oh, this person is going in a wrong way,’ that pain, that intention, that prayer in your heart can impact a person’s life. This I have seen. Pray for their betterment.

Mahatma Gandhi used to sing this prayer every day, ‘Sabko sanmati de bhagwan’. Give a good mind to everybody.