Dear Gurudev, how do I help my adult children to forget about our past and be loving again?
As I said, don’t ask for explanations of the past. Don’t say, "Let us sit and talk it out". Don’t do this. I am not for this at all.
When people have misunderstandings, they say, "Let us talk it out". This ‘talking it out’ makes it worse. People should just live in the present moment and keep moving to the future. Don’t stop, and talk to them as if nothing has ever happened before; totally be in the moment. This is the best way to behave and to get over the past. Digging into the past and then complaining or giving an explanation are stupidity.
Also, if someone comes to explain, you should not listen. If someone comes to explain, tell them, "Come on, forget about it. Move forward, I never turn back and see what happened. I am very fast. I have so many things to do".
Who is going to sit and listen to why you said something, or what you did in the past? Your mind is not in your control, and you blabber something, who cares? Why should I be pulled into your mind’s rut?
Sometimes people say, "Gurudev, you are not listening to me".
I say, "I won’t listen. I have no time".
You made a mistake and then you try to explain why you made all those mistakes. You become so innovative! You don't even know that you have committed a mistake. Then you become innovative and try to give some explanation for it! Who is bothered to listen to such things? What is the use of post-mortem? Waste of time! Young girls, you all listen to this very carefully: Never ask for explanation or even listen to an explanation. We should just move on. We don’t have time for such things.
Educate and ignore. There are two ways to ignore. One is just ignoring the past, but better is to educate and ignore. If someone thinks or says something about you, just tell them, "Look, I did not mean to do this thing to you. What you are thinking is wrong".
One word, that’s it. Finished. Move on!