2 January 2014 - QA 3

Why do people cheat? Is it because they don't love their spouse?

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:

No! Not everybody who loves cheats, but anyone who cheats, it is because they love their wife or husband very much.

Do you know why? If there is a fight between truth and love, love will win, truth will fail. Cheating means what? Telling lies. Why does a husband lie to his wife? Because he is afraid he might lose the love of his wife. So, because of the fear of losing love, he tells lies.

If the husband or wife assures them, ‘Come on, whatever you do, I accept you as you are. Just tell me the truth. If you have any weaknesses, I will forgive you. In spite of your weaknesses, I am going to love you the same'. If this assurance is given, they will tell the truth.

Why is it that nobody cheats on a mother? Because you know that mother’s love is not going to change. So you go and tell your mother. You don’t want to tell your wife, why? If you tell her, she may not take it easily. She may stop loving you. The same is with the husband too.

You will go and confess to your father because you know that you father will scold you, or shout at you, and then tomorrow your father will accept you. But a husband?

Someone can even confess to their son, but with the husband there is a little fear. What is that fear? May be I will lose their love.

It is deep inside. It is a psychological fear. The fear of losing love is more than telling the truth.

Create that space for your spouse, ‘Look, whatever you have done, tell me and I will understand you, accept you and I am with you’.

There are many couples who share all their mistakes very honestly, and they still love each other. There they don’t cheat. They simply tell their weaknesses and wrong doings. But if they hide something, it is only because they fear of losing (the love of their spouse). So, just know this. If there is a competition between love and truth, truth is going to lose. Got it?