20 December 2012 - QA 4

I am in a relationship with a person who is too calculative about his actions. He is scared of getting attached as he believes that it might affect his spiritual growth. Is this right?

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:

Don't ask someone to prove their love for you. That is when all these things come.

If we show too much love to somebody they do not know how to handle it or how to respond to it, isn't it? People get confused.

There are many people who do not know how to receive love, forget giving love. That is why I tell you, don't get caught up in all of this. Just relax and be happy, and just take it for granted that I love everybody, and everybody loves me.

Then whatever needs to be expressed will simply be expressed. It will happen naturally.

When someone is saying, ‘I am scared of attachment’, that means somewhere they are attached. So don't take what people say at face value. People may say anything, but in reality it may be something else.

See, when you understand a person beyond his words that is when a real relationship builds up. But if you hang on to the words of a person then you are at a very superficial level; on a very surface level and then it does not work for long.

Your relationship should go beyond words, and beyond the feeling level, i.e., emotions, because words also change and emotions also change. Then it becomes a real good and committed relationship. Whatever may be the relationship, a friendship or a marriage, it becomes very solid when you see beyond emotions.

When you accept every flavor of emotion and every strain of thoughts or words, then you move into a platform which is not shaky and which doesn't break.