Dear Gurudev, for the past few months I find sadhana, satsang and seva a struggle and an effort. I have tried approaching it like I am doing it for the first time, but it still feels the same. What can I do to get past this feeling?
Never mind, just relax and let go. Why do you struggle? You already struggle with other things, now you are struggling with sadhana also? Okay, stop, don’t do it. One day, you will find yourself saying, ‘Oh, I need to do it!’ It will feel like you are starving or are thirsty, and then suddenly you feel that need.
Similarly, when your body and mind are tired, they will want to relax, rest in some deep inner space with knowledge and wisdom. When feverishness has gripped the mind, then you are on the run, and sometimes you will want to let go and relax, and have an experience of deep peace, then you will come back to it (sadhana).
There is a beautiful couplet by Kabir, he said, ‘When people are miserable, everybody prays, but when they are happy, nobody prays. If they pray even when they are happy, why would misery touch them? Why will misery come to them?’
He said, ‘I am surprised by the mind, I am surprised by this tendency of people.’
That is true, if you continue praying, then it cultures the body and mind. If not, sometime when you become miserable, you will definitely need it, and come to it.