27 July 2013 - QA 1

Gurudev, someone I love has hurt me. I am finding it difficult to forgive them. What should I do?

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:

What are the options in front of you?
One is, you don’t forgive them. If it is so difficult to forgive, then don’t forgive. My concern is, are you happy and peaceful? Can you be happy, content and peaceful without forgiving? No! Then just let go!

There are many such people; there are many thorns. The nature of thorns is to prick you in your feet. Now, you remove the thorn, throw it, and walk your way. You cannot keep the thorn and keep questioning it, ‘Why did you prick me? It is nasty of you to prick me! I won’t forgive you because you are pricking me!’
The thorn will say, ‘Hey, come on, it is my nature. I can’t but do this, and I only do this! And you are questioning me, why did I prick you? Why did I ditch you? It is in my nature to ditch people. You came on my path and so we crossed each other’s paths!’
Now is it better to move on, or is it better to keep running behind them!

Why are you running behind someone who has ditched you? Why do you keep thinking about someone who has ditched you? Just throw them out! Throw them out of your life!

When you can’t forgive, you have to finish them off! If you really take a gun and finish them off, you will be finished. You will land up in jail. This is what most people do.

The intelligent one just stops thinking about them. Or they will have compassion for them and think, ‘What an ignorant person, they never had a drop of wisdom in their life. They don’t know that if you hurt someone, it is going to come back to them ten times more. They are going to suffer more. They are ignorant, and it is their nature.’

Think that is their nature, they are stupid! They don’t know what they are doing. Say, ‘I don’t want to do anything with such people. I don’t have time to think about them.’ Instead, keep yourself busy.

If you are big hearted, you will recognize that they are ignorant, they didn’t know what they were doing; out of greed or jealousy they did what they did, and you will have compassion for them.

Does this make sense?