Bangalore, India
(Part 2 of 3)
(Petra Friganovic: Supermodel from Croatia)
Q: Gurudev, I have one question for you. I am very much aware that there is this enormous spiritual and practical power in women. But I am also aware that this power is very much hidden from us. How can the modern woman awaken this power in her?
First of all, let us understand that spirituality is not something that is out there, that is going to come into you. We are all made up of matter and spirit.
Our body is made up of carbohydrate, protein, amino acids, etc. Our spirit is made up of compassion, care, commitment, love and distortions of it, like anger. All these qualities. Nurturing the human values, the qualities in you, is spirituality. It is seeing life from a broader perspective, i.e., 'I am not just flesh and bones, but I am scintillating energy. I am a fountain of love. I am feelings. I am intelligence. I am thoughts'.
This identification with our consciousness is what spirituality is.
It doesn't take a long time for you to invoke the spirituality inside you. You simply have to see your life from a bigger perspective.
Look at this planet, it is huge; unfathomable. From billions of years it has been in existence. And what’s our life of 70-80 years in comparison to this? See your life from the context of space and time and you will see how tiny your life is. At the same time, go deep into it. Go deep into meditation and you will find, 'Wow, there is so much energy. I am this beautiful energy. My thought has power, my emotions have power, and I am a part of everybody!'.
This feeling that you are part of the entire living species is what exactly spirituality is. That connectedness with the entire universe brings you enormous strength.
(Marina Spadafora: fashion designer from Italy)
Q: Being a mother of three, I always ask myself, what is the best approach to teach my son to respect women, and to respect girls. So my question for you is, what is the best way for a mother to teach her boy that he always has to respect women, take care of them, protect them and treat them the best way possible. So when this boy will grow up, he will be a good man and we would not have as much violence as we have in today’s society”.
Well, I’m not so qualified to answer this question, because I have no experience in that field (marriage and parenthood). But I have a suggestion.
In my observation, I found a mother can influence a child only to some extent. Especially when the kid becomes rebellious, the mother cannot influence the kid. But a good aunt can do it.
So, if you want to be a good mother, you have to be a good aunt to the friends of your kids.
You know, the friends of your kids will listen to you much more than your own children.
In India, we have a saying. In the mango season, when you want to pluck the mangoes, don't throw stones directly at the mango, but throw it at the branch, and the mango will fall. If you throw stones at the mango, you won’t get the mango, you will only get the juice.
So, to catch the mango, you have to get it indirectly.
In the same way, if you want to influence your kids, you should influence his or her friends circle. If the friends circle is influenced, your kid will automatically get the lesson.
So you cannot just worry about your kid, you will have to worry about all the other kids in the society. Then you will get somewhere. And many people have been successful in doing it.
Q: Gurudev, children today are so much into phones, ipads and computers. And not only children but adults as well. So much so that they cannot remember a phone number if their phone is taken away. They are so dependent. Everything is in the phone, if the phone fails then they also fail.
If children don't move forward and do anything new, if they don’t study hard, then what is the use of these iPhones and iPads? Nobody will write songs, nobody will sing them, nobody will write books, then how will life go on like this? I am very worried about the kids.
Yes Ashaji, you are right! People have forgotten how to count.
I want to tell you something interesting. A few people were staying here, and we gave them a combination lock for their room. They would always forget the combination, and would ask to be given some easy combination! What is so difficult about a combination lock?
When we don't allow our brain to function, when we don’t allow creativity to blossom, then it will rust! You are right, it has begun to rust due to modern gadgets.
Yes, these gadgets are necessary, you also have it, but there should be something written, there should be some creativity; this should definitely be done.
From time to time, we should, for one or two days, decide that we will not watch TV. One week should be No TV week. One week you tell kids, this week you will not watch any TV. At least they will start reflecting upon something. Otherwise they are simply bombarding information and impressions into their little brains, and they are unable to use it in other ways. It is a cause of concern.
Most of the Attention Deficiency Syndrome among teenagers is a result of the mother and father being busy and putting the kid in front of the television. If the little 3-4 year baby sits and watches the television for 3 hours then what will happen? Our brain needs some rest. Some relaxation, only then creativity can happen.
(Arpine Galfayan: Human rights activist from Armenia)
Q: Dear Gurudev, in almost all religious institutions and practices, women are not allowed to represent the word of god. Even if women are not considered something evil or secondary, still women cannot be priests and conduct poojas. So the question is, do you consider this to be an unfair practice? Do you see the need of changing it, and if so, how?
Nowhere, at least in the scriptures, what I have learnt or whatever little I know, is there any discrimination on the basis of gender. So, women should come forward and take up their rightful place. Don’t ask someone to give it to you.
Q: With the media reporting crime and negativity around the world, what do you think is their responsibility towards this violence that is happening? What do you think we should be doing differently?
I think the media has two important roles to play. One is to place the facts in front of the people as they are. At the same time create hope in people for the future.
You know, the present scenario can be very depressing. The media has to take responsibility not to create more depression in society. They have to give people hope.
Suppose there is a riot, or a crisis, or a war, in that situation also there is hope; there are good people on the planet who are doing some very good work, this must be highlighted. Otherwise when you open the newspaper, all you see is bad news, which is depressing. The people feel that there is no hope in life because the world is so bad.
The citizen of this world will not label society as bad or hopeless. This can happen only when they are bombarded with negative news all the time. So, media will have to balance this out. Create hope, at the same time keep the reality in front of people.
Could you advise on what is the best way of going into meditation. And is there any kind of special music which can enable you to access that space better?
(Ritu Kumar: Fashion designer from India (Recipient of the Padmashree in 2013))
Meditation is very simple, and it just takes a couple of days to learn. Once you learn it then you can do it on your own. Then you can do it anytime and anywhere you want. But only before meals, okay! What happens during meditation is our metabolism slows down; whereas after food our metabolism goes up. So it is better to meditate two to three hours before food, or after a good meal.
Meditation is good, it makes our body strong, health better, mind clear, and our emotions become softer and positive. It improves our intuitive ability, improves our vibrations, and brings such a positive energy around us. There are so many benefits to it.
My question, today, is about Africa. You had mentioned earlier that simply sending food is not a solution. I would like your guidance on how to further charity in Africa to a new level and make it a more sustainable solution. Africa is a forgotten continent. They are going through a lot of pain and I want your guidance to help them better. (Her Excellency Sheikha Hind Khalid Khalid Al Qasimi: A designer and editor from UAE.)
You know, I was also thinking on these lines: how we can help Africa more. There are 3 dimensions we all have to work for.
First is, we have to see that corruption doesn’t happen. Billions of dollars are being siphoned off into the pockets of just a few political leaders; if I’m right.
When I was in the European parliament, I met several people who informed me that many of these African leaders have stashed their money away in London. So the first thing we need to do is to create a sense of awareness in them that there is a need for a strong anti-corruption bill, or some such thing will have to happen. Such a moment has to come up there.
Second is, creating a sense of belongingness among the people. A lot of money is wasted in ethnic conflicts in Africa. People can just get together, and instead of getting into conflict, celebrate their diversity.
Africa is not one, there are so many diverse little sections, groups, and tribes. They should celebrate this difference together. For this India can be the best example, because in India, every 200 kilometers a different language is spoken! It’s almost like Europe.
Just take the whole of Europe, how many different languages are there; how many different countries are there, yet it is all in one country. Similarly, in some provinces in India, there are 10-15 tribes, but they all celebrate together, they remain together. There aren't such big ethnic conflicts.
So we need to teach people how to live harmoniously in spite of their differences. This can be inculcated in the education system. South Africa has done it to a very big extent. Botswana has done it to some extent. Rest of Africa should do this.
Just giving out charity is not enough. We need to teach them how to fish. We need to teach them how to stand on their feet. This is what I believe in.