Question & Answers with Sri Sri Ravi Shankar
Q:
Why is that we are unable to understand the mind- which is the most powerful thing in the world?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Have you begun to understand it? (reply: No) then start from somewhere and then we will see whether it is fully understandable or not.Q:
What does the mantra Bhadram Karne-bhi-h Shrnuyam Deva... mean?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
This is the first mantra to be recited before any pooja. It means, let my ears hear good things, let my eyes see good things, let us speak only good words, let our life be on the Divine path.Q:
How to handle stress without conflict?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
First find inner peace, and then you can handle situations. When you are peaceful, then the solutions come. Do you mean problems in relationships? If your question is about conflict between spouses, then there are three options.Advice for women – Don’t ask your husband to prove himself. Pump his ego. The whole world might say that he is an empty head, but you as a wife must always praise him. You can tell him, “You are brilliant. It is a different thing that you don’t use your bright mind”. Never step on his ego. He has to prove himself in the world, but he wants to relax when he comes home. He shouldn’t have to prove himself at home.
Advice for men - Never step on the emotions of your wife. She will tell you the problems at her home and may complain about her father, brother or relatives. But if you join her bandwagon, she will take a U turn. If she wants to go on a spiritual or religious program, don’t stop her. If she wants to shop, give her your credit card.
Advice for both - Never question someone’s love for you. If someone asks you to prove your love to him or her, how would you feel? It is like a burden. Demand destroys love. Never demand love. Instead of this you say, “Why do you love me so much? I am not worthy of your love”. The moment you say this, the other person will melt and start loving you even more, and will even forgive you for your mistakes.
Q:
How can one balance between, household duties, business and seva(service)
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
How do you balance a bike? When you fall more to the left you bend right and when you are falling more to the right, you bend left.There is no theory, you just do it. It automatically balances. It pinches one if he doesn't do seva at all and is always bothered about himself. If you are in your senses it will pinch you otherwise one is not human. If you are not touched by others' misery then you are not human but stone. Similarly, if one is only into social service, then also it bothers.Q:
Thank you very much for all I have received from you till today. Even I know you are available on an emergency basis, twenty four hours. I am ashamed toask you a help. When someone of your family passed and relationship between you and this person was not clear, what can you do to help the process to help that person live peacefully and also to be peaceful yourself? Thank you Guruji.
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Whenever you have to console a bereaved family, keep silent! Too many words does not make any sense there or have any meaning. Someone is in grief, you just be with them, with peace in your heart. They will absorb the peace, they will bask in your peace. They will absorb your peace - they will feel comfortable, happy.So when you are peaceful, you radiate it. They will absorb the peace and they would feel that inner calm, inner peace. So don't have to say, ‘Oh poor thing!This thing has happened with you. Oh, it shouldn't have happened.’ Talking all that type of pity or sympathy is not going to help either you or them. So justbe with them and say, ‘God will give you strength’. Just give that to overcome this situation. This is the only thing that you should do. ‘God will give youstrength’ or the person who departed, take their name and say, ‘That person will give you strength to go over this tough time, this difficult time.’ These one or two words are good enough. Don't talk too much but just be with them. Few minutes- you being with them will help them. OK?Q:
How does one know who his true Guru is?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
I suggest that you don't bother too much on who is true and who is not. You see what is it that you need. You take knowledge and then continue to move on. There are so many Gurus today and you should move ahead thinking yourself to be one of them. You are not less than any of them. But we need to adopt a balanced approach. There should neither be guilt or self blame nor arrogance or pride. On the spiritual path, both of these attitudes must not be there. There is only loss involved either way. And hence one should move on that middle path.Q:
How to get rid of hurt and anger?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Do Sudarshan Kriya, breathe, sing and meditate. There is no point in brooding. Move on in life. Don’t waste today for what happened yesterday. Wake up and say, “I have the valor and the courage to overcome this.” With someone else’s anger, you must play all your tricks to calm them. Then leave it to God. Educate and ignore. Give them some time. Ask for pardon and most people will not hold the grudge. If they do, it is only out of ignorance.Q:
Why is it so difficult for people to understand each other?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Because they don’t understand themselves first. You do not understand your own mind and you try to understand others’. It becomes very difficult.Q:
What are the points to keep in mind in order to have a successful relation?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
First for women: Never step on your man's ego. You should always pump and encourage his ego. You know, the whole world may say that your husband has no brains, but you should not say that! You should tell your husband that he has the best brains in the world, and just because of the fact that he doesn't use it, doesn't mean that he doesn't have it! You should always tell him that he is the best man. Always pump the ego of a man .If you call him a vegetable, I tell you he will become one.Now one advice for men: Never step on the emotions of a woman. You know, she may sometimes complaint about her family, about her brother, or her father, or her mother. You should not agree with that. If you do, then she will take a U turn. Never insult her family. Don’t stop her to go for shopping, or going to a spiritual or religious program. If she wants to go for shopping, give her your credit card.
Now for both: Never ask for proof of someone's love for you. Don't ask each other, “Do you really love me? You don't love me these days just like old days”. You know, it is such a big load for someone to prove their love for others. If someone asks you to prove your love, you would say "Oh my God! How do I prove that to this person?” Do everything with some style and some smile.
Q:
What is the alternative solution for white sugar and tea?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Don’t be too fussy about anything. You can’t go to everywhere and demand jaggery products. Of course Jaggery is most desirable. But your body has got enough capability to adjust itself. Your immune system is strong enough. Organic food is most desirable. But sometimes if you don’t get organic food, don’t think you are immediately going to fall sick. People who are too finicky about food, their immune system keep on going weaker and weaker. When something challenging is given to the immune system, it gets a chance to work. So now and then, once in a while, the immune system should be challenged. Then the self defense will come up from within. Otherwise being finicky gives rise to frustration and anger. Your system should be flexible and adjustable. And that can happen when you resolve mentally that the type of food you are going to eat won’t affect your system too adversely. That doesn’t mean eat unhealthy food. But that means not to be too finicky about food and quality of food. Chose a middle path.