Gurudev, is there a secret to relationships? How can I improve my relationship with my spouse?
Well, you’re asking the wrong person. I have no experience in this. But still I would say, you need to accept the differences, and not insist on others changing to your way at once. You can only suggest your way to others, but not insist on it with your spouse.
I usually say there are four secrets to a successful relationship:
1. A woman should never step on the ego of a man - this is very important. A woman should always pump the ego of the man.
2. A man should not step on the emotions of a woman. He should always nurture the emotions of the woman.
3. Both of them should not ask each other, “Do you really love me?” Stop asking, “Do you really love me?” Or complaining, “You don’t love me these days, you don’t pay attention to me". Don’t put the burden of proof on your beloved. They shouldn’t feel burdened to establish their love for you.
4. You be you. Walk your way, with a goal in hand. Otherwise, if you’re focusing your attention on policing your spouse, you’re going to spoil the relationship. This is what happens. You love someone very much, you want to know everything about them and you start policing them, and start asking them a million questions. And they get sick and tired of it, feel strangled and say bye to you.
It’s not just some misunderstanding. It’s too much expression of one’s love, or possessiveness which is like a burden on the spouse. You should give some breathing space to each other.
Take it for granted that there is understanding. Don’t question each other’s love or understanding. This is very important.
