By Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar | Posted: September 24, 2019

When learning from a spiritual master, many seekers have questions about how much they should depend on their teachers’ guidance. In the following conversation, Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar addresses matters of independence, dependence, and why we’re all interdependent.

Question: Do I always need you when I’m in trouble or not able to handle situations? To what extent is it good to be independent in life and in all aspects?

In this world, nobody is independent. We’re all interdependent. We depend on so many things. As a baby, you were dependent. Somebody had to clean you, put the diaper on you, and they had to feed you. 

As an adult you’re in some ways dependent on others, and old age certainly makes you feel that you are dependent.

False independence

What can give you a false sense of independence is some currency notes. You have money, and it gives you a false sense of independence.

Just imagine, one day they say all the currency in the world is null and void. It has no value. Nobody can even give you a cup of tea for $100,000. What will you do?

Nobody wants to come and work for you for any amount of money you pay. What do you do? You will feel the false notion you had about independence.

Dependence on the planet

We are dependent on the air. We are dependent on the trees around us. When they give us oxygen, that’s what keeps us alive. Our life is dependent on this planet.

It is a matter of interdependence. That’s why the ancient seers said, “You protect the dharma and dharma will protect you.” It’s a mutual contract with dharma. You protect nature and nature will protect you. This is interdependence. So drop this false notion of independence.

People wanted independence for happiness and prosperity, because dependency means pain, suffering, and slavery. I’m not talking about actual slavery here; I’m talking about recognition of the common good, shared values, shared existence. 

Belongingness and service

If you do some work for your own very dear one, you don’t call it labor for them or that you are being a slave to them. It’s not slavery. Slavery in this situation is a mental attitude. When you feel that others are not yours, then you feel you are a slave.

Because there’s a sense of belongingness, you take care of each other. There’s a completely different notion to it.

We shouldn’t mistake this. We shouldn’t say, “Oh anyway Guru said, then why should I work if someone else is working, let me take advantage of them.” It isn’t that. It isn’t taking undue advantage of someone, and at the same time, not feeling that “they’re different, and I want to be independent.”

Aloofness and suffering

An aloof mindset keeps you in a small boundary, confined within a wall, and that causes self-induced suffering. 

We must learn to be with people. Learn to work for and with them. Spiritual masters work with you to learn to let go of your hesitations, your barriers, your boundaries, and take a quantum leap to another dimension. We have many different boundaries; past experiences cause a boundary, and our concept about others will cause another boundary. 

Our concept about others, thinking them to be this way or that way, it is our problem. If someone is unfriendly to you, that’s their problem. If it becomes your problem, you’re the one who is suffering. 

Walk your way

If someone is unfriendly, it’s their problem. That’s OK. You be friendly from your side, unmindful of how they behave towards you. This shows your strength. If you don’t judge people and you be solid, then you’re walking on this path, which I’ve been telling you about.

You’re smiling, your heart is clean and doesn’t recognize others’ attitudes or faults. You walk your way. Got it?