How do I pray correctly?

What Gurudev says

You know the feeling: you want to pray, but a question pops up in your head - am I doing this "right"? The right words, the right posture? Gurudev takes exactly this pressure off you by describing prayer as something you don't have to choose, but simply get to let happen.

Prayer is deeper than your emotions. It is just an expression of your innate need or innate gratitude. Yes! We are so used to choosing things and we try to choose even prayers, no. Prayer is an expression of the deepest anguish and or the deepest gratitude and let it happen, let it flow.

From the official Art of Living website — “Prayer is an expression of the deepest anguish and or the deepest gratitude” (Oct 10 2011)

Once you're actually asking for something, Gurudev offers a very practical addition to carry with you - in case your wish later feels completely different than you expected.

You should always put a clause along with your prayer, 'if it is good for me, let it happen.' Otherwise you are stuck with the desire in your mind for a long time. And when it does get manifested and become a reality, you may not want it. A person was wishing for nuts all his life and he got the nuts when he lost all his teeth.

From the official Art of Living website — “The bondage of karma lasts only as long as the wave finds itself separate from the ocean” (Sep 1 2011)

Beyond that, Gurudev distinguishes what a prayer actually arises from - and names one form he calls the highest.

People pray when they are unhappy, that prayer is just an escape. But the true prayer — the supreme form of prayer — is that which arises in joy. Being happy, you pray, being happy, you are grateful.

From a talk on the Ashtavakra Gita — “Drop All Conflicts”, 00:27:33

Let it flow, add the clause "if it's good for me," and remember: for Gurudev, prayer born of joy is the highest form - not only prayer born of need.

What you can do

1. Let your prayer simply happen, instead of planning it. You don't need to search for the "right" words - a spontaneous expression of your need or gratitude is enough.
2. Add the clause to your wish: "If it's good for me." This saves you from holding onto a wish for years that might later feel completely different than you expected.
3. Pray out of joy too, not only out of need. Gurudev calls the prayer that arises from happiness and gratitude the highest form - so don't wait until things go wrong.
4. Ask for bigger things too, not only for yourself. Gurudev encourages asking not just for small, personal things, but also thinking of others and of the bigger picture.
5. Give prayer real, conscious time, not just your leftover time. When a prayer goes unanswered, Gurudev says, it's often because it was never really given true attention - give it a fixed, conscious place in your day.

Frequently asked questions

How can I become more grateful? Gurudev doesn't describe gratitude primarily as a question of who you're grateful to, but as a basic quality of life itself - someone who is truly grateful ends up grateful toward the people and things around them, not just for the big things. He also explains that negative feelings like anger or low spirits spread like a kind of pollution - and that a deep sense of gratefulness is the most effective way to counter it.

How do I build a daily meditation routine? As a basic rule, Gurudev points to a measure of food, activity and rest that's neither too much nor too little - that balance helps the mind settle down in the first place. More important than duration, for him, is daily, uninterrupted repetition: even just a few minutes, practiced every day, firmly anchor the practice in you.

How do I pray to God correctly? To people who say their mind wanders during prayer and meditation and that they need more effort, Gurudev offers a clear reversal: where there's love, no concentration and no effort are needed, because the mind naturally goes wherever love is. He also distinguishes prayer that arises from unhappiness - which for him is just an escape - from the highest form of prayer, which grows out of joy and gratitude.

What is meditation, really? Gurudev clearly distinguishes meditation from concentration: it's a deep relaxation you've probably already met in unnoticed moments of real happiness. He also describes it as a fourth state beyond waking, sleeping and dreaming and calls it a higher form of prayer - in prayer you ask or give thanks, in meditation you're ready to listen.

Related questions

• What is unconditional love?
• What is devotion?
• What does it mean to surrender to God?
• What is the difference between letting go and devotion?
• How can I learn to let go of my worries and trust?
• Devotion & Prayer — overview

Sources

The quotes on this page come from:

• Official Art of Living website — “Prayer is an expression of the deepest anguish and or the deepest gratitude” (Oct 10 2011)
• Official Art of Living website — “The bondage of karma lasts only as long as the wave finds itself separate from the ocean” (Sep 1 2011)
• Ashtavakra Gita — “Drop All Conflicts” (AG 14), 00:27:33–00:27:57