If you know how to row a boat, you can row any boat. But if you don’t know how to row, changing boats isn’t going to help. Similarly, changing a relationship does not necessarily solve the issue. Sooner or later, you will be in the same situation in the other relationship.
Most people look elsewhere for a perfect relationship, but few look within themselves, at the place from where they relate. Important to note are:
- What is your relationship with yourself? Who are you to yourself?
People think: Oh, I’m single. I’m so bored being by myself. I need a companion. I need a relationship. If you are so bored by your own company, think how much more boring you must be to someone else? And two people bored with themselves getting together will completely bore each other!
What is most important in a relationship is your understanding of your emotions, your mind, your ability to be stable, and your ability to see things from a broader perspective.
- Is your relationship based on some personal need?
If your relationship is based on personal need, it may not last that long. Once the need is fulfilled, on a physical or on an emotional level, the mind will look for something else and go somewhere else. If your relationship is from a level of sharing, then it can last longer.
When you’re looking for security, love, and comfort from your partner, you become weak. When you are weak, all the negative emotions come up and you become demanding. Demands destroy love. If we just know this one thing, we can save our love from getting rotten.
It’s the limited awareness of yourself and the limited experience of love that encapsulates you in a tiny compartment where you start suffocating. We can’t even handle the love we are asking for because we have never probed into the depth of our own mind; our own consciousness.