How to stop feeling insecure in relationships

If you don’t have a relationship with yourself, all other relationships become shallow. And if your relationship with yourself is so profound and steady then you naturally develop the skill to handle any kind of relationship around you. ~ Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

Every rose has thorns, and so do relationships. There are bound to be ups and downs, and partners do experience a few ‘not-so-good’ phases. One such period is being insecure in a relationship. Feelings of insecurity lead to fights, distrust, and uneasiness that strains the relationship for both the individuals. What causes insecurity? What can help to increase a sense of security in relationships?


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Seeds of insecurity

Sometimes relationships are more colored by a fear of losing the other, distrustfulness, constant anxiety and too many negative emotions. This may be an indication of feelings of insecurity creeping in. Loneliness, an assumption that nobody loves you or is kind to you further increases the feeling.

More often the feeling of insecurity in a relationship is a mere projection of your relationship with yourself. Feeling insecure is the result of the missing bond with your self. There could be numerous reasons for not feeling secure that may be resulting out of difficult circumstances or arising out of mere false assumptions.

Being insecure can be a result of unpleasant past relationships, lack of love and care during childhood that makes one lack self-esteem and confidence. Such individuals tend to continue to relate to their partner in the same patterns.

Pillars of a secure relationship

A relationship becomes deeper and loving when both individuals come from a space of giving. Love, comfort, and respect are the three pillars of any relationship. If even one of these is missing, the relationship seems to get strained. Likewise, the more you love thyself, it would reflect that much more in your relationships.

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Self love happens when there is an acceptance of oneself firstly. It grows when you are not judging your actions too critically and analysing yourself constantly. By doing so you are not filled with guilt, fear or anger and there is abundance of happiness and love within. You are creating a space of giving rather than demanding and that is a sign of a healthy and a secure relationship.

Securing relations

One way to feeling secure in relationships is by practicing breathing techniques, imbibing pranayama and making meditation a part of your daily life. If you wondering how to start meditation, try the breath for relaxation guided meditation.

Such practices help one to release pent-up stress, be worry-free and more positive. Negativities are reduced which prevent a relationship from being nurtured. You will find that you are more honest, open, and natural with people around you.

And when you find yourself being a happier, more considerate and compassionate person, you will be more joyous and loving with your partner.

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