As youth what is it that we ultimately want from our life? Happiness is certainly on the list, right? What is it that our parents want for us? Happiness, isn’t it? So, when we have the same goal, why do we end up having rough relations with them? What is the root of the communication gap that develops?
The goal is the same, but paths are many. There is a difference in the way we and our parents see things and sometimes we feel that they do not understand us. We like to explore life, while our parents advise us based on their experiences. A delicate balance needs to be maintained and with meditation, we become more aware and skilful in making the choices that strike a balance.
There are times when we might feel scared to share our goals and dreams with our parents, afraid of the way they might react or not confident of being able to explain what we want to do. We cannot escape having differing points of view. But when we meditate, we are able to communicate peacefully and skilfully. When we are calm, the tendency to react reduces and we are less likely to end up in a fight with them.We also develop the courage to stand by our decisions.
Recently a young 19-year-old boy shared, “I always wanted to be a singer but hesitated sharing it with my father because he wanted me to become an engineer. One morning after I meditated, I went up to him and after having a five hours long discussion, he finally agreed and let me be in the music band I wanted to be in. This was only possible because I mediated and was peacefully able to explain him that being in a band would keep me happy.”
Parents have an amazing ability to understand us just by our expressions. Shares Sakshi Arora, now a mother of an infant, “As a teenager, I would always feel that my parents never understood me. But now when I am with my baby who still hasn’t learnt to speak, I am able to understand my baby just through his body movements and expressions. I could only realize that parents have a great understanding with their children now that I am a parent myself.”
Our parent’s love for us can never diminish. Their love always has a very good intention but perhaps not the most preferred expression. For instance whenthey say, “Come home early,” their concern is our safety, but feels like lack of freedom. Meditation nurtures the skill to acknowledge good intentions and accept their expression with a smile. It also builds trust in us, that what they say is for our good.
If we see life from a broader perspective, how many years do we spend knowing our parents? 40-50 years?Is it really worth being unhappy with them; they are two people who will always stand by us in any situation. In this short span of life, we can move towards our goals in harmony with the help of a little meditation - the binding thread in parent child relationship.
Meditation Times = Quality Time
Spending some quality time with your parents is sure to enhance your relationship with them. Create some time where you all meditate together everyday. It could be in the morning before you all leave for work or in the evening once you are back. The times when you are having a little roughness in your relationship, your daily practice of meditation will act as a lubricant. While choosing a place for mediation, make sure it is a neat comfortable place free from distractions. This allows you to go deeper in your practice.
You could also come and learn meditation at the YES!+ course. It is a custom-made package for pranayam and meditation that help youth to skilfully face the challenges. Following are a few experiences by the participants of the program.
- Abhishek Dawar, 24 years
“The Yes+ course has helped me build a better and an inseparable bond with my parents. Today we are like friends, sharing our happiness and problems with each other. Meditation helps me to be calm and relaxed which makes me understand my parents. Now, all of us meditate together daily and this makes our relationship even more special.”
- Khushboo Aggarwal, 30 years
“Parenthood is one of the biggest service while parents are the most taken for granted amongst all relations. With the sharpened awareness that comes from meditation I realized my parents’ shortcomings were not deliberate barriers but limiting factors which were perhaps at times, controllable and at times uncontrollable. It grains more empathy and gratefulness towards them for whatever they have done or could do.”
Inspired by Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar's wisdom talks
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