By Elizabeth Herman | Posted: September 28, 2019
What does it take to manage conflict? Sometimes it takes a willingness to wait for change to occur. If you practice patience intentionally, solutions to conflict often arise spontaneously.
Sometimes it takes an increase in your energy level, and rest may be required to replenish your sources of energy, since conflict can be mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausting.
In a family, the different needs you have may collide with the other family members’ needs. Why is this? It’s a diverse world that needs wisdom and action, and praying may be the best course of action at times, according to Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar in the following short video.
Sources of energy
To stop feeling drained and lethargic, it may help to remind yourself of four essential sources of energy, including
Food- You get energy from good nourishment of your body. Fresh, alive food also lifts your spirit and makes you think more positively.
Sleep- Sleep refreshes your whole being, and brings life force to your brain. It’s necessary for good health.
Breath- Internationally known Art of Living teacher Rajshree Patel has been helping thousands of people boost their energy with breathing techniques from the ancient Indian field of vedanta. Learning these methods can turn your life around, as she outlines in her new book “The Power of Vital Force: Fuel Your Energy, Purpose, and Performance.”
A peaceful state of mind- When you allow your thoughts to calm down, you can gain deep rest and energy from meditation. Learning to meditate effortlessly can make your brain more youthful, especially once it becomes a habit you won’t want to let go of.
Patience
Even though instant gratification is the hallmark of our fast-paced, consumer-based society, we don’t actually benefit from getting all of our desires fulfilled so quickly. For example, your body doesn’t really benefit as much from heavily processed fast food, because it doesn’t contain the life force that food prepared with time and love contains.
If you wait for what you really want, you can feel better about your own ability to control yourself, and more confident when it comes to managing conflict in your family and/or at work.
Here are some tips for strengthening your ability to wait patiently:
1. Dial down the noise level.
By keeping your personal space quieter, you can start to feel the abundance of time. You won’t be controlled by the pace of music, news stories, or videos on worldly topics, however they may fascinate you. You can do things based on your own clock, not the clock of others’ rhythms and sounds. Your own rhythm and the sounds of your own body take center stage, and you start to move at your own pace.
2. Delay your meals past the usual time.
Although we don’t usually speak about hunger as a pleasant experience, it can be helpful for the purpose of getting in touch with your body. The stomach and the bloodstream send signals to the brain when they’re ready for nourishment. Being able to heed the actual, physical signals of hunger can move you beyond the emotional urge to eat when it isn’t actually needed. You can exercise self control in this way, and conquer your impatient, often destructive impulses.
3. Make helping others a priority.
Every opportunity to help someone is a gift, and if you make the most of these chances to do good, you’ll find yourself growing more and more patient with conflicting needs. If you can go ahead and meet someone’s needs without harming yourself, it makes sense to do that unconditionally, if possible. You can not only postpone conflict, but sometimes your commitment to serve can eliminate the chance of colliding interests forming a stubborn obstacle for your relationships.
4. Make a schedule for self-care.
In the same way you set appointments for job interviews, doctor’s visits, haircuts, and car maintenance, you can compartmentalize times for hot baths, walks in the woods, massages, curling up with a good book, and any other relaxing, restful activities that you can use to treat yourself with love. By setting up these pampering sessions in advance, you can decide how feasible it is to delay matters, and do what you know your family, neighbors and co-workers need until your self-care appointment times arrive.
5. Embrace your solitude.
I’ve been divorced for 22.5 years now. I remember living alone for the first time after the break up, and one of my challenges was to feel good about keeping myself company, not constantly reaching for others to fill up the empty space in my life. After all these years, I still spend most of my time alone and I’ve learned to celebrate and love myself to a much greater degree. This makes it possible for conflicts with others to have less of a negative impact on me, so I don’t mind going to the movies or restaurants alone. I also don’t need to wait for someone to do something with me.
With these four sources of energy and five tips for a conscious practice of patience, you can expand your capacity to wait, and help prevent conflict in your life. The purpose is for you to be less drained and feel less needy. You also will be less controlled by others’ needs, and saying “no” without causing an argument will be easier.
Elizabeth Herman writes, offers writing support to clients, teaches, and volunteers for a better world. She has a PhD in Rhetoric, Composition and Literature.
