How do I deal with bullying at work?

What Gurudev says

You know the feeling: you head to work on a Monday morning, and just the thought of a certain person makes your stomach tighten. Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar makes one thing clear first in situations like this: you don't just have to endure it.

If someone is constantly bothering you, then either you move away from there, or you confront that person. I will not advise you to bear someone’s harassment forever. Try to change the situation with intelligence, with tact, with strength and with love.

From the official Art of Living website — “Love Unconditionally” (Aug 12 2013)

Alongside taking concrete action, Gurudev also offers an inner approach: why even argue with someone who's hurting you on purpose?

You question people, “Why did you behave like that? Why did you insult me?” It is useless to do so. You should have compassion and feel, “Oh this person does not have that refined level of consciousness.” If you don’t want to be insulted, then nobody can insult you.

From Gurudev's wisdom archive — “See the positivity everywhere and in everyone” (2023-06-17)

And how do you hold up over the long run without becoming bitter yourself? Gurudev offers a reframe here that doesn't play down the attack, but makes its source visible.

Everyone we meet has to be happy and radiate happiness. This is the only way we can have that unshakeable peace and happiness. If somebody is shooting an arrow at you, insulting you, realize that they are doing it because they are miserable. They are pouring out their stress, tension and anxiety. When you have blossomed from within, you can take any insult and turn it into your advantage.

From Gurudev's wisdom archive — “How to find Unshakeable Peace and Happiness?” (2020-04-27)

For Gurudev, both levels belong together: act outwardly — remove yourself, or address the person clearly — and inwardly, don't take the attack personally, because it usually says more about the other person than about you.

What you can do

1. Recognize: you don't have to just put up with it. Consider concretely whether you can remove yourself from the situation, or whether a clear conversation is the next step.
2. Confront the person directly, if you feel able to. Do it with clarity and calm, not anger — that keeps things manageable, for you and for others.
3. Don't keep asking "why does this person do this." That question rarely brings clarity. It helps more to recognize that bullying often comes from the other person's own unhappiness.
4. Get support. Talk to someone you trust, inside or outside work — you don't have to handle this alone.
5. Pay attention to your own state. If the situation weighs on you long-term, disrupts your sleep, or limits your daily life, talk to someone about it and have it looked at by a doctor if needed.

Frequently asked questions

How do I deal with unfair treatment at work? To someone who lost their job over unfair treatment by a manager, Gurudev advises not dwelling in the past but looking forward with energy — there are usually other opportunities. Using the example of being let go, he also explains not to confuse the immediate trigger with the real, deeper cause.

How do I learn to let outside circumstances rattle me less? Gurudev compares a mind that holds on to small praise, blame or insults to someone chewing gum: it keeps the jaw busy but provides no nutrition, and in the end it just wears you out. He also shows how easily we lose ourselves in other people's words alone — even though nothing but words has actually happened.

How do I handle criticism from my boss without taking it personally? Gurudev compares constantly chewing over praise or criticism in your head to chewing gum — it keeps you occupied but doesn't nourish you, and in the end it just tires you out. He also reframes a tough boss and less understanding colleagues positively: they force you to sharpen your communication and bring out your own talent.

What is karma, explained simply? Gurudev explains karma using the example of hurt: what happens to you now is what nature is bringing back to you from the past — understanding this brings settledness instead of a feeling of victimhood. For him, karma simply means action: past, present and future actions each leave, and draw on, impressions that help shape what unfolds.

Related questions

• How do I handle criticism from my boss without taking it personally?
• How do I deal with difficult coworkers?
• How do I deal with unfair treatment at work?
• How do I stay honest when a business partner is dishonest?
• How do I resolve a conflict with my boss?
• Work, Conflict & Business Partners — overview

Sources

The quotes on this page come from:

• Official Art of Living website — “Love Unconditionally” (Aug 12 2013)
• Gurudev's wisdom archive — “See the positivity everywhere and in everyone” (2023-06-17)
• Gurudev's wisdom archive — “How to find Unshakeable Peace and Happiness?” (2020-04-27)