Resilience: Where Inner Strength Really Comes From

A mended clay pot holds a thriving green plant growing strong.

Short answer: For Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, resilience isn't a skill some people have and others don't — it's your actual inner nature: a calm that's already there underneath every storm. It doesn't show up as staying unmoved, but as finding your way back to yourself after hard times — often deeper and more powerful than before.

Resilience isn't a special talent

Resilience often sounds like a skill some people just have, and others have to painstakingly build — like a muscle you train up. Gurudev starts somewhere else: for him, the calm we're talking about here isn't something that first has to be created. It's already there, underneath whatever feels hard right now.

Peace is your very nature. Peace is your innate nature. It cannot go away from you. That's why there is so much to be at peace with oneself. You are peace.

From a talk on the Ashtavakra Gita — "You Are Free Right Now", 00:36:05

That doesn't mean hard times are easy, or that you should just think them away. It means: what carries you through them isn't something you first have to acquire — it's already part of you.

Every storm leaves more than it takes

How does this inner strength actually show up when something real happens — a loss, a setback, a crisis? Gurudev describes difficult phases of life with the image of a storm: something that breaks over you and shakes you up — and that, in the end, often leaves more in you than it takes.

Every storm that has come into your life has widened your horizon, made you deeper, and more powerful. Every storm has destroyed some smallness in you — something in you that had been very small.

From a talk on the Ashtavakra Gita — "Storms of Emotions", 00:17:08

That doesn't mean a storm gets any easier while it's raging. But looking back, it often turns out that exactly the times that demanded the most from you are also the times that widened you the most.

What actually throws you off balance

Not every jolt comes as a big storm. Much more often, it's small things that throw you: an offhand comment, a piece of criticism, a look. Gurudev compares a mind that gets stuck on things this small to someone chewing gum.

In a small little mind, when mind is clocked with small little things here and there, small little objects, small little events and instances, small little words from people, small appreciations are blames or insults, your mind is cut up, goes on chewing it like chewing gum, eating chewing gum, it doesn't give any nutrition. Only the gums, your mouth gets tired, you get nothing by chewing gum.

From a talk on the Ashtavakra Gita — "Fountain of Joy", 00:07:39

So for Gurudev, inner strength doesn't just show up in the big crises — it shows up just as much in how much weight you give small words and looks, and how easily you can let them go again.

The difference between fighting and accepting

One misunderstanding about resilience is confusing it with suppression: pushing feelings down, functioning anyway, not letting anything touch you. Gurudev tells the story of King Janaka, who fought his own inner restlessness for a long time — until he noticed something.

Janaka suddenly says, “Oh, it’s so surprising to me! I was all the time resisting the restlessness.” I was all the time resisting the restlessness. Now I see that it is there — okay, let it be there; it is part of nature. This storm is also part of nature — stop resisting the storm. Take it in its totality, go deep into it — you see, it is nothing.

From a talk on the Ashtavakra Gita — "Storms of Emotions", 00:12:31

The difference isn't whether a difficult feeling is there — it's how you relate to it. Do you fight it, or do you let it be there for what it is: something passing, a part of life, not a verdict on who you are.

What you can do

Remember the calm doesn't need to be created new. If you're feeling exhausted or overwhelmed right now, that doesn't mean something's missing in you. It just means a lot is acting on you at the moment — the calm underneath stays, even when you can't feel it right now.
Ask yourself, after a storm, what it showed you. When a difficult phase is over, look back: what shifted, widened, or became clearer through it? This question doesn't undo the hard time, but it gives it a place.
Don't make small hurts heavier than they are. An offhand word, a piece of criticism, a disappointment — not all of it needs your full attention. Some of it is allowed to simply pass by.
Don't fight what's here right now. Instead of pushing down a restless mood, let it be there without judging it right away. It often loses its grip the moment you stop fighting it.
Don't compare your path to anyone else's. How fast or slow you move through a hard time says nothing about how strong you are. Give yourself the time you actually need right now.

Questions on this topic

Sources

The quotes on this page come from:

Ashtavakra Gita — "You Are Free Right Now" (AG 05), 00:36:05–00:37:55
Ashtavakra Gita — "Storms of Emotions" (AG 10), 00:17:08–00:17:31
Ashtavakra Gita — "Fountain of Joy" (AG 06), 00:07:39–00:08:24
Ashtavakra Gita — "Storms of Emotions" (AG 10), 00:12:31–00:13:03