Why am I constantly stressed?

What Gurudev says

You know the moment: you feel real joy about something — and a moment later, the worry of losing it is already there. Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar describes exactly this pattern as one of the roots of stress: not the joy itself, but the fear of losing it.

Something gives you great joy, then the craving for the great joy doesn't allow you to rest peacefully. Something agitates you, the fear of that something is going to agitate you, something is going to put you off the balance, doesn't allow you to be peaceful and restate in yourself.

From a talk on the Ashtavakra Gita — “Honouring the Secret”, 00:06:36

This inner tension doesn't need a big trigger. Often a very ordinary worry is enough: keeping up your reputation. In his book, Gurudev describes how much this effort can keep people trapped.

Most of the people are stuck in this cage of prestige and honour. They cannot smile. They are constantly worried about keeping up their prestige and their honour.

From the book “An Intimate Note to the Sincere Seeker” — knowledge sheet 304, “Prestige and Honour - Your Golden Cage” (3 May 2001, Panama City, Panama)

As different as these triggers look, for Gurudev what lies behind them is much the same. He names this underlying pattern as the one big theme that gets blamed on countless causes and reasons — yet at its core, the real task stays the same.

This is the only problem. This is the only basic problem in the universe, there is no other problem. You can attach it to one thousand causes reasons, but the problem is how to free the life from this storm.

From a talk on the Ashtavakra Gita — “Storms of Emotions”, 00:08:19

Whether the worry is about joy, about reputation, or about something else entirely — Gurudev keeps seeing the same movement in it: a mind that clings to something and becomes restless because of it. Recognising this cycle is, for him, already a first step.

What you can do

1. Notice when joy tips into worry. In everyday life, watch how quickly a good moment turns into the fear of losing it. Just noticing this can loosen the automatic grip a little.
2. Ask yourself whose opinion you're actually afraid of. When you notice you're worried about your reputation, you can pause and ask how much that worry will still matter in a week.
3. See the outer reason as interchangeable. Gurudev makes clear that stress can attach itself to a thousand different causes. Instead of chasing every single cause, you can practise noticing the underlying pattern itself.
4. Try short moments of conscious pausing. A few quiet breaths or a deliberate moment of stillness can be a starting point for stepping out of the automatic cycle.

Frequently asked questions

How do I find inner peace? Gurudev insists that peace isn't a state you first have to reach — it's your true nature, and it can't be taken away from you. That shifts the goal of any practice: not to become stress-free, but to recognise that underneath the surface, you already are. When you try too hard to force peace, you often get the opposite.

How can I become calmer inside? Gurudev warns against trying to force restlessness away with effort — that's itself another form of doing, which tends to feed the restlessness instead. He compares it to someone stirring a muddy pond with a stick and then complaining that it's muddy. Even the wish for calm can, when it gets too strong, become a source of restlessness itself.

How can I become more calm and composed? Gurudev describes calm as something already within you. At the same time, he points out that no emotional storm stays forever — each one rises and settles again, like wind. What remains afterwards, the stillness after the inner whirlwind, he calls your true nature: love.

How can I relax when I can't switch off? Gurudev compares trying to force inner restlessness to calm down with stirring up a muddy pond while getting annoyed that it's muddy — the effort itself keeps the disturbance alive. He describes the tension of such an inner "storm" as burning; the harder you try to force it to cool down, the more restless it often becomes.

Related questions

• How can I become more calm and composed?
• How do I find inner peace?
• How can I become calmer inside?
• What helps immediately against inner restlessness?
• How can I relax when I can't switch off?
• Stress & Inner Restlessness — overview

Sources

The quotes on this page come from:

• Ashtavakra Gita — “Honouring the Secret” (AG 17), 00:06:36–00:07:20
• An Intimate Note to the Sincere Seeker — “Prestige and Honour - Your Golden Cage” (knowledge sheet 304, 3 May 2001, Panama City, Panama)
• Ashtavakra Gita — “Storms of Emotions” (AG 10), 00:08:19–00:08:55