How do I deal with loneliness after moving to a new place?

What Gurudev says

You know the moment when you're in a new city, a new apartment, but come evening you're sitting there not knowing anyone? Gurudev gives a very direct instruction for exactly that moment.

Quote #5 "When you feel lonely, sit, and meditate. Listen to bhajans or songs. Your beloved is within you. You just have to look inwards."

From the official Art of Living website — "10 Quotes on Loneliness" (2020-05-06)

After a move, what's often missing is exactly what seems like it would solve loneliness fastest: company. But Gurudev makes clear that this is only short-term comfort.

Someone’s company cannot fill your loneliness. Even if it does, it is very short-lived. If you could be comfortable being alone for some time, then you will not feel lonely. If you enjoy being with your Self, you will not be a boring personality. If you are lonely, then you can be boring to others.

From the official Art of Living website — "Being with your Self" (2022-02-16)

And for the feeling of being a stranger in a new place, Gurudev talks about his own experience of constantly being on the move.

For me, the entire world is my home. Wherever I go, I feel the same belongingness with the people. The whole world is my family, my home.

From the official Art of Living website — "Welcome Home!" (2021-12-08)

Together, these three thoughts form a line: you can turn inward instead of reaching outward right away. You can learn to be good company for yourself. And you can allow yourself to feel like you belong even in a new place — not because the place already feels familiar, but because, for Gurudev, your connection to people doesn't depend on the place.

What you can do

1. Sit down and meditate, instead of filling the emptiness right away. Gurudev names exactly this as a first step with loneliness — a few minutes a day is enough to begin.
2. Listen to bhajans or music that feels good to you. Gurudev also names this as a simple way to connect with yourself when you feel lonely.
3. Practice being good company for yourself. Gurudev describes it this way: someone who's comfortable being alone feels lonely less often — and that's something you can practice step by step, for example on a walk or over a quiet meal by yourself.
4. Don't see the new place as foreign — see it as temporarily unfamiliar. Gurudev describes his own experience of feeling the same sense of belonging everywhere — that can be an invitation to slowly feel at home in your new place too.
5. Actively reach out to people, instead of just waiting for company. Company only fills loneliness briefly, according to Gurudev — it becomes more lasting once you also learn to be good company for yourself.

Frequently asked questions

What is the Self in the spiritual sense? Gurudev insists that inner peace isn't a state you first have to reach — it's your true nature, and it can't be taken from you. For him, practice doesn't mean becoming stress-free; it means recognizing that you already are, underneath the surface disturbance, once you drop false self-images and relax.

How do I deal with loneliness in old age? Gurudev gives a direct practice against loneliness: sit down, meditate, listen to bhajans, and turn your attention inward. He also explains that other people's company only fills loneliness temporarily — it truly dissolves only once you learn to feel comfortable being alone too.

What can I do about loneliness? Gurudev teaches that compassion — including toward yourself — creates an environment where people feel heard and included, which can soften loneliness. If you feel disconnected, he advises not fighting it but simply resting into it, comparable to falling asleep, which each of us does on our own.

How do I cope with loneliness when I live alone? Gurudev advises not fighting the feeling of disconnection but resting into it — similar to falling asleep, which each of us does on our own. Instead of feeling sad about it, he suggests accepting it with a smile and meditating — which, in his description, brings more inner centeredness and strength.

Related questions

• How do I tell the difference between loneliness and the need to be alone?
• How do I build a supportive social network?
• How do I overcome loneliness?
• Why do I feel lonely even though I have people around me?
• How do I make new friends as an adult?
• Loneliness — overview

Sources

The quotes on this page come from:

• Official Art of Living website — "10 Quotes on Loneliness" (2020-05-06)
• Official Art of Living website — "Being with your Self" (2022-02-16)
• Official Art of Living website — "Welcome Home!" (2021-12-08)