13 April 2013 - QA1

Dear Gurudev, my husband loves me a lot, and still he does not miss a single opportunity to count my negative qualities. My enthusiasm goes down. What should I do?

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:

You should behave differently. Give him a surprise.
If he counts your negative qualities, you shower a lot of love, affection, and praises on him!
Tell him, ‘Wow, you said it absolutely right! This is what I wanted to hear!’
Don’t react the same way all the time. You have a choice of acting the way you want to act, isn’t it?
Someday when he brings you flowers and compliments you, frown at him and say, ‘Why did you do this?’ When he scolds you, feel happy about it.

Remember one thing, you are responsible for your happiness. Come what may, whoever says whatsoever, you protect your mind, and keep yourself happy. You be determined, ‘I am not going to let my happiness be taken away by anybody! Even if God comes and yells at me, I will tell God, ‘Thank you, this is your gift to me.’’
Make this determination today.

Today is Vaisakhi. It is a gift to you. What is the gift? Come what may, I will not let my mind slip down in the maya; in this ever-changing relative world. I am responsible for my happiness. I will not let anybody bring down my happiness.
You go with this determination and see what happens. Anyway, this place is there for you to come back, again and again and again.
When clothes get dirty, we give it for washing, or dry-cleaning. This (ashram) is a good washing machine, it cleans everything.