6 Top ways to handle anger

Most of us are aware of the causes and effects of anger. Let us come straight to the point of handling anger. Well, I am coming directly to the solution with the assumption that none of us like being angry. Anybody?   

Let us now try this.

Hold on to a clenched fist. Check how long you can hold on. Keep holding until you cannot do so anymore. Now, loosen the fist in one go. 

Time for some wisdom. Was holding on to the fist relaxing or loosening? Loosening the fist is more relaxing. Similarly, holding onto “I am right” leads to stress and anger. But ‘letting go’ or acknowledging the fact that “I don’t know enough” is one of the primary ways to overcome anger. 

Implementing some simple tips can help you overcome anger and is far better and safer than counting to 10.

#1 Sulking Chamber

There was the significance of कोपभवन - Sulking Chamber in ancient times. The purpose of this chamber was to provide a secluded place to the queen who is in anguish and anger. The king would immediately reach the queen to resolve her issues. I have noticed when I am angry, I wish to remain aloof from all. We get time and space to ponder on the cause of anger, implement wisdom, practice pranayama and meditation, and come out of it ourselves. We need to spend some time in silence and solitude whenever we are upset. However, spending all the time being alone and aloof can become a reason for depression. 

Humor associated with anger is showcased in the video, “How to deal with angry people” - Wisdom talk by Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar. 

#2 Lie down

Yes, lie down when you are angry or just about to get angry. Have you noticed that small children who are mad at you, tend to yell, cry, lie on a sofa or bed and finally doze off? When you lie down fortunately or unfortunately, you gradually switch from angry mode to rest mode. If it is hard to believe, try once for yourself.

There is another option when you are angry. Meditation. Once when I was under stress and having frequent bouts of anger, I came across this meditation and learned how to reduce anger.

Take a Stress Reduction Break and Meditate: 20 Minute Guided Meditation with Gurudev.

#3 Act faceless

Are you ready for a twist?

Act being faceless when you are genuinely angry. Usually, jealousy, greed, guilt, and anger show up on your face even when you haven’t expressed a word. Subsequently, being faceless can help you. At the point when your psyche is not able to properly articulate due to anger, you can snatch this moment to make a couple of strides inwards to the joyful energy you are made of.

#4 Stop or change labeling 

Do you often label yourself like - “I am short-tempered”, “I am annoyed”, “I am violent”, etc. which only reflect your low self-esteem? If you still want to label yourself, then choose positive labeling like - “I am calm”, “I am stable”, “I am wise”, “I am a giver”, “I am healthy”, among many others. Have an endless list of such labels. Positive labeling acts as a blessing in disguise.

#5 Only Act angry

Amitabh Bachchan was the angry young man of the '70s and '80s, an image that brought him name, fame and money. This was in the acting industry. In real life too, we sometimes need to show anger. But if you only act angry, then you will not be carried away by your emotions and at the same time, your anger will be useful in correcting a situation or behavior. Similarly, if your anger is against injustice, show it but don't let the anger seep into you. In simple terms, we should use anger and not allow anger to use us.

#6 Say No to blame game

The more games of blame you play, the more you lose to yourself and others. How does this happen? Well, when you blame yourself, you fall into a guilt trap. Blaming others will attract explanations and counter-explanations, leading to a vicious cycle. So blames have never brought any transformation. Action and correction should be the purpose, without focusing on who is the wrong-doer.

When clashes increase, life crashes down. Anger is like that fire that can give you warmth and can burn you too. The ancients of this land have said, “How long should your anger stay? It should stay only as long as the line drawn on water stays.”

Related Links

The article, “Five tips to get rid of anger and its ‘cousins’” presents a mythological twist and an interesting interpretation of anger.

“How to control your anger” - Lessons on Anger Management by Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar highlights ways of controlling anger.

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